


Bridges We Build

by AnJoanGrey



Series: Together We Stand [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek AOS, Star Trek Reboot
Genre: AnJoan Grey is not bad either, Attempted Kidnapping, D/s, Dominance/submission, Dominant!Spock, Endless love - Freeform, If you are looking for Porn - this is still not the place, Jealous!Spock, Leonard is a BAMF, M/M, Mild gestures of violence against a woman - do not read this story if this is offensive for you, Non-Sexual Submission, Nyota Uhura is temporarily a negative character, Possessive!Spock, Reman Viceroy, Revenge, Spock is a real BAMF, Temporary apparent misogyny, You must imagine Ron Perlman as AnJoan Grey, bones - Freeform, submissive!Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnJoanGrey/pseuds/AnJoanGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to "You Are Mine". You should read that first. Leonard and Spock are together. They share two bonds and they are also married, because Spock wanted to be sure that no one will ever be able to separate them.<br/>Leonard swore to obey Spock. Should he not, the bond would collapse and they would both die. But as the dominant partner in their relationship, Spock is never abusive; he only takes what belongs to him, without ever hurting Leonard.<br/>They can't be separated. They should not be separated. And yet there are those who want to do them harm...</p><p>Story with pictures!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leonard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JoJa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoJa/gifts).



My life with Spock had begun, fresh, wonderful… and very difficult. We were so in love, _so – in love_ – that the first few days had been a torture. I needed to be near him, in physical contact if possible; but we were on duty, and people were curious about us; everybody wanted to know _what’s that even like?_ – and especially that nosey, childish, Captain and best friend of mine, Jim.

Spock was maintaining the T’hy’la bond completely open at all times; we were aware of each other, as if I was wearing a blindfold and I could still tell if he was heading my way or entering the room I was in. I would feel his telepathic fingers probing my mind at times; he was greedy, possessive when it came to my mind. We still melded for hours and hours, we did that even more than we made love. And I did not object. I had grown dependent on sleeping with his fingers on my face. He wanted to know what I was thinking about, how and why; he wanted to know what I was reading, what different medical stuff meant; how did I make specific associations in order to synthesize serums and vaccines; he wanted to know what amused me, what annoyed me, what drove me nuts; he wanted to know all the things I adored.

And I wanted him to know all that. I didn’t have any mental shields, but I was willingly giving him all my thoughts, as if our lives together were a huge mind-meld.

“All I’m sayin’ Bones, is that I wanna hang out with you, you know? With you alone.”

“We’re alone now”, I said.

Spock was in Lab 3 and we were having lunch – meaning, Jim was ingesting large quantities of French fries and I was trying to steal them from him – without much luck. I felt that _thirst_ , that huge longing that tortured me whenever I was away from Spock.

“Bones. Give me my fries back or I’ll stab you with my fork.”

“I’ll stab you with a hypo.”

“Dammit. Okay, fine! I’ll just eat this salad and be heartbroken.”

“Do that.”

“So what do you guys do? You know, where you’re alone.”

“Jim…”

“Aw come on! I’m curious! What’s it like?”

Damn curious kid, makes me roll my eyes.

“It’s… dunno, like before. I’m reading, he’s meditating.”

“Whoa, that sounds boring.”

“Reading is never boring.”

“…says Mr. Triple PhD. So can I come over and play chess with Spock?”

“You’ll have to ask him.”

“But you’re okay with that?”

“I’m okay with whatever he wants.”

“That sounded nasty, Bones. It’s like… he’s the boss?”

“He _is._ ”

“Omaygad, what’s it like!?”

“Jim.”

“What??”

“You’re being a bitch.”

“And you don’t love me anymore.”

As Jim was trying to steal the bowl of fries away from me, I became aware of Spock’s presence in the room. The _bond_ hummed and my soul filled with butterflies. In a few seconds, I felt him near me.

“Captain”, Spock said politely.

“Mister Spock! Good to see you. Perhaps you could assist me in getting my food back from your dear Bones.”

“He could not”, I said.

“I would not dare to interfere”, Spock said. “May I join you, Captain?”

“Oh, sit down already.”

Spock sat down near me and we were both feeling better, the _thirst_ was less tormenting; Jim was talking and talking and I did not even listen; Spock’s physical presence was vital and overwhelming.

_Want tea?_

_Yes, Leonard, please._

I was always pleased when he ate and drank something, because he rarely did and I could not get used to that. I went to the replicator and punched the command for a mug of Vulcan tea and brought it to him. He casually touched my fingers when he took it and the _bond_ lit brightly.

“Thank you, Leonard.”

“Don’t mention it”, I said.

He was talking to Jim about the shift rotation; I retook my place near him; I was not really paying attention. In fact, I was looking at Spock’s fingers curled around the mug. I wanted to be alone with him, in his arms; but there were still full 8 hours until that was possible. I had stayed on the Bridge during Spock’s shift; now he was going to stay in Sickbay during mine. We avoided separation as much as possible although we were now able to endure it for one or two hours.

I loved him. I adored him. He was the essence of my life.

“…right Bones?”

“Right.”

“See, Spock? Even Bones agrees!”

What was I agreeing to? I had no idea.

“Doctor, you cannot possibly agree with the idea that the Captain beams down on Dakala. It is populated by carnivorous animals and the non-photosynthetic plants are equally dangerous.”

“Huh. No. There’s no way any of you is beaming down there. Except me.”

“What?” – they both said in unison.

“I am responsible for sample collecting in dangerous environments.”

“That is not true”, Spock said – and I did not like his dangerous glare – “It is well within my duties as a Science officer” –

“… but not as a First Officer. Your first duty is to the Captain. Dakala is on the edge of Neutral zone. Both of you must be on the Bridge. Regulations. End of story.”

“Is there even such a regulation?? – Jim wanted to know.

“There is”, Spock said on an obviously unhappy tone.

“Since when do **you** know obscure Starfleet regulations, Bones?”

“There is nothing obscure about Neutral Zone regulations”, I snapped, I was starting to be annoyed.

“Dakala is **near** , not **in** the Neutral Zone, so the regulations don’t apply here.”

“That is also correct,” – Spock took Jim’s part.

“You are both being obtuse! If I say it’s dangerous, it’s dangerous and neither of you goes. I’m still the CMO of this bloody ship.”

“Now who’s being obtuse??” – Jim asked, angrily.

_Are we actually fighting?_

_Yes, I believe we are._

_Are you upset?_

_Not at all._

“Not at all??” – I wanted to know, looking into Spock’s eyes.

“Bones, you’re not making any sense now.”

“Yeah, whatever. So it’s settled. Neither you, nor the green-blooded computer here beams on Dakala without my permission. I will note this in the ship’s log.”

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Can’t you do something? You’re his _boss_ after all.” – Jim added with a trace of irony.

“I am not his _boss_ , and I will not do anything, Captain.”

“Some things never change… I’ll be on the Bridge.”

We were alone and I was somehow worried that he was mad at me, but the _bond_ was gleaming brightly and his beautiful eyes were warm. He touched my fingers, gently.

“I hated that!” – I said.

“Why?”

“It’s weird fighting with you.”

“We did this all the time and you always enjoyed it.”

“How do you know that??”

“Leonard…”

“Yeah, okay, okay” – and I smiled. Of course he knew. He knew everything about me. “Anyways, I don’t – I mean, do you know what I mean?”

“I do not.”

“Dammit, you’re not helping me.”

“Certainly not.”

But that Vulcan smile was there, visible just for me.

“I mean, I do not mean any disrespect to you – as my – “

“… as your – what?”

_As my –_

Dammit. I could just not say that in a loud voice. He had my complete submission but I just could not say the word _Master._ Luckily I knew he was just teasing me.

“Leonard. If I am ever even _slightly_ upset, you will surely feel it through the _bond_ , I assure you.”

“I would like to kiss you”, I informed him.

He touched my fingers with his and I felt suddenly dizzy.

“…on your mouth.”

“That is – unfortunately – not possible.”

“Boy, you’re a real comfort.”

“I know.”

But that evening when we were finally alone, he kissed me for many hours, with his fingers locked on my face, another hand in my hair, one leg over me – and that was my entire happiness, perfect, warm and bright like the Sun in Georgia.

 

***

 

As promised, a new story, sequel to  _You Are Mine_ , starts today. I decided to build a story with a plot after all, so I hope you will like it. Each chapter will feature a point of view. As usual, your feedback is much appreciated!


	2. Spock

Leonard is deeply asleep, with his head on my shoulder and one arm around my waist. However, we have to wake up, no matter how much I actually want to just stay there with him in my arms.

I run my fingers through his hair, slowly; he stretches and wraps around me even more tightly. He is the most tender and loving human that exists. In here, in this room, in this bed, he is _my Leonard. Mine._ And when we are out of this room – he becomes the reckless, ruthless Doctor Leonard McCoy, and he can be almost infuriating at times. We argue so much – perhaps even more than before – that I almost want to kiss him in front of everybody so that he shuts up. Of course, I would never do that.

Jim has become aware – somehow – that our relation implies a dominant partner, which is me. He tries to coerce me into using this “advantage” while we are on duty and Leonard disagrees with him, but this is, again, something I will never do. It would be an abuse. Leonard does everything I ask of him – how could I ever use this to hurt him?

Three more minutes until the alarm sounds. I kiss his hair, his forehead, his closed eyes. He mumbles something incoherently and holds me tighter. I still have my fingers on the meld points – we fell asleep while melding like we always do – I am curious, so I swim through his thoughts – is he dreaming?

I see the image of AnJoan Grey in his mind and I frown. I am still uneasy when it comes to the Reman Emperor. Leonard is afraid of him. I send a wave of calm through the _bond_ and the Reman vanishes. Instead, I see images of different substances in small bottles. He dreams about his work. Leonard would work in his sleep if he could. Sometimes I cannot believe he is mine.

I gently break the meld – and, as our minds separate, he wakes up.

“Whatdya do that for?” – he protested.

“We must wake up in 1.32 minutes.”

“So give me your hand back for the remainder of 1.30.”

I comply – his mind welcomes me back greedily. Leonard’s mind is the best “place” in the universe.

“Spock?”

“Yes?”

“I wish we could meld all day.”

“I am aware of that, Leonard, although it does not cease to surprise me.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a person who values privacy. There is no privacy when we are melding.”

“All my thoughts are yours, Spock.”

Whenever he said things like that, I would feel the urge to hold him tight, to kiss him, to bite him, to… to claim him one more time as mine.

“The Time is 05:00”

“I hate you, Computer.” – Leonard added. He would say that each morning to the Computer. But he did not move, he was waiting for me to disengage the meld – he had never – absolutely never – asked me to do it. I think that if it were for him – he would endure me in his mind simply for ever – in fact, had he not just asked for that?

“I love you, Leonard.” – and with these words, I removed my fingers from his face. He took my hand and kissed it and I knew that by doing so – he renewed his oath to me. Each morning – it was the same.

We dressed and went to have breakfast. Jim was already there, daydreaming over a cup of coffee.

“Hey Jim. Mind if we sit with you?”

“Mmm.”

_Does he mean yes, or no, Leonard?_

_No idea._

“Jim?”

“Yeah, sit down, people. Good morning.”

I sat down while Leonard was bringing breakfast. Our Captain seemed overly preoccupied.

“Captain, are you not well?”

“I’m… well… dunno.”

“What did you do, Jim? Come on. Tell good-ol’ Bones who upset you, so that I can assassinate them.”

“Guys, I’m in biiiig trouble.”

“What is the matter, Captain?”

“I, uh… like someone.”

“From the ship?”

“Yeah, Bonesy.”

“Who?”

Perhaps Leonard was a bit indiscrete.

“Someone who doesn’t love me back.”

“Whoa, wait now. LOVE? Or LIKE? ‘Cause if you like someone, I don’t see what the problem is. Love, on the other side…”

This discussion was interesting.

“Love, Bones. I am completely and helplessly in love.”

“…and unnecessarily dramatic. So who is she? Or he? It?”

“It’s Carol.”

“Marcus? Carol Marcus?”

“Yes.”

“……and what seems to be the problem?”

“I’ve never loved someone. Except you guys. I mean, Bones, you know I love you, right?”

Jealousy passed through me like a shadow, but logic quickly took control. I knew Jim loved Leonard –

“…And for a while I was in love with you” – and Jim looked at me – and this time I felt jealously passing through Leonard’s mind.

“Whoa now kid slow down, okay, ‘cause I don’t wanna punch you.”

Leonard was not being subtle.

“…but this time it’s different. I mean… when I see her, I talk gibberish, my cheeks are burning, my heart beats faster, I’m a mess. I mean, have you seen how beautiful she is? How wonderful her voice is – God, and that Scarborough accent… wow…”

“So, ask her on a date. You can charm her with your Iowa accent.”

I had doubts about that.

“I can’t, Bones! I’m gonna make an ass out of myself. It’s not like I wanna drag her on to my bed, you know… I want to… to…?”

“Go on…?”

“… walk hand in hand with her on the beach! Give her flowers! Buy her a ring!”

“So tell her how you feel!”

“How do I do that? How did YOU do that?”

“Uh, well… I…”

This was definitely interesting.

“How did you tell Spock how you felt?”

“You don’t necessarily want to copy my example.”

_May I tell him?_

_You may._

“Aw come on, Bones! I mean, is it a secret?” – the Captain wanted to know – and he looked at me.

“It is not.”

“Well” – Leonard stated – “I am sure you don’t want to do what I did, because I was in a room full of Vulcans – among which, Sarek, by the way – on my knees, in front of your First Officer, and told him he was the love of my life. So that pretty much sums it up.”

Jim was speechless – in disbelief, he slowly turned his head to look at me.

“Is this even true??”

“It is.” – I said.

“And what – I mean, wow! What did you do?”

“I broke his hands” – I said, and it saddened me to remember that particular moment. I had actually broken Leonard’s beautiful, precious hands.

“That was not – um, very romantic of you, Mr. Spock.”

“Not at all.”

“Anyways, Jim! We’re approaching Iconia! It’s beautiful, uninhabited, not dangerous. I’d say shore leave would be awesome for the crew. We can go camping, with tents, a fire, music and everything! She loves that stuff! There, you can make your move.”

“How do YOU know what she loves, anyways?” – Jim wanted to know.

And I also wanted to know.

“’Cause I gave her a full evaluation when she came on board, which includes psych. And background education. And preferences. And what she ate when she was a small baby. That stuff.”

And he looked briefly into my eyes to see if I was upset.

“Oh. Oh well.”

“Anyways, what do you say? Camp night on Iconia? Shore-leave? Romantic stuff? Guitar, alcohol, chocolate and a fire?”

“That sounds like a pretty awesome idea, Bones! What do you think, Spock?”

“I concur.”

“You know what? Let’s do that.”

 

I had never seen a fire camp before. It was – beautiful, even if I could not understand the logic of it. People were chatting; everyone look contented. Jim was staying near Carol and they both seemed shy; that was something new. Jim Kirk, shy? And yet, there he was. My son – it did sound a bit strange but he was my son – Pavel Chekov was cuddled near our pilot, Hikaru Sulu; I was not sure whether that was a good or a bad thing. I had to meditate upon the problem. There were many others present – Montgomery Scott and his friend Keenser – whom I had not heard making a single sound yet; the entire Sickbay crew. Leonard was having a good time, I could tell through the _bond_. People were holding hands and kissing. I did not like doing anything of the sort in public.

Someone gave me a guitar – I did not expect that.

“Come on, Mr. Spock, play something for us.”

I tuned the instrument, everyone was curious. Leonard was not even breathing – I think he did not know I could play several musical instruments.

“What type of music would you like to hear?”

“Aye Mr. Spock, play something from Scotland!” – Mr. Scott demanded, but I did not know any Scottish music.

I played a few easy instrumental works from the 20th century Earth, and then, after my fingers warmed up a bit, I played _Asturias_ by Isaac Albeniz. I could feel Leonard’s eyes gazing at my hands – it was a wonderful sensation.

_That is absolutely fantastic, Spock._

_Thank you, Leonard._

_Love song after this one!_

_Examples, Leonard! I do not know many. I would really wish to have the scores –_

_Play Scarborough Fair. It’s Jim’s favorite song! And Carol is from Scarborough. Perhaps it’ll give him a bit of courage._

_Sing it in your mind._

_Okay. It’s in E Dorian. The score is also in my mind._

Fascinating – Leonard had a musical background! I was unaware of this. I still had much to discover about my bonded mate.

“Come here.” – I told him and he immediately did. I touched his face for a few seconds and extracted from his mental library the score of _Scarborough Fair._

I started to play the piece; it was eerily beautiful and simple and allowed me to improvise. Jim gazed at me in shock and surprise and I saw his dilated pupils; but to _my_ surprise, Leonard started singing the lyrics, and he had a warm, calm voice with precise intonation and beautiful modulations. “Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme / Remember me to one who lives there / She once was a true love of mine.”

Jim took Carol’s hand. We were making good progress.

_Ready for the two-part counterpoint?_

_Ready._

I started the second stanza: “Tell her to make me a cambric shirt” and Leonard started the countermelody: “(On the side of a hill in the deep forest green). Parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme (Tracing a sparrow on snow-crested ground) / Without no seams nor needlework / (Blankets and bedclothes, a child of the mountains) / Then she'll be a true love of mine / (Sleeps unaware of the clarion call)”

Jim bowed and kissed Carol and whispered something to her.

I continued to improvise, and we sang together the other two stanzas with the countermelody. I could feel the love – as the humans say – flowing in the air, that song was surely a catalyst for emotions – and not only for human emotions. I wanted to take Leonard in my arms and hold him tight and kiss him –

I wanted to feel him abandoning himself to me completely. I heard him taking a deep breath. He must have picked up my thoughts.

It was a bit cold and I had to retune the guitar. Jim came to me, holding Carol’s hand.

“Spock?”

“Captain?”

“Carol and I will go back to the ship… Can I ask you to keep an eye on everyone?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“And… thank you… how did you know? About _Scarborough Fair_?”

“Leonard.”

“Oh. I should have guessed. He deserves a reward. Don’t you think?”

“He does.”

“So give him a kiss.”

“Certainly not in public, Captain.”

“Why not? He is yours, isn’t he?”

With those words, the Captain and Lieutenant Marcus beamed back to the ship. Everyone else seemed in a romantic mood and they asked for more songs. I felt Leonard putting a sweater on my shoulders – and I was grateful because I was cold. I took his hand and indicated I wanted him to sit near me, which he did. Jim’s words – _He is yours, isn’t he?_ – were sounding in my mind as I started playing various other pieces. Everyone was silent after a while, looking at the fire. I gently probed Leonard’s mind to see what he was thinking about. He – _missed me_ – even though I was right there, near him.

I put the guitar down, I turned towards him and I raised his chin with two fingers, to look into his eyes. They were full of love – he belonged to me, every cell in his body, every thought in his mind belonged to me. His mind was crying out for me.

I bowed my head and kissed his lips. He was so shocked that he did not even dare to respond to the kiss.

_Spock??_

_Surprised?_ _Any objections, perhaps?_

_No, no…_

_Good, because I do not want to hear any._

I pulled him in my arms, he was trembling slightly.

“Are you cold, Leonard?”

“No, Spock.”

“I vill tell you a ghost story from Russia!” – my son Pavel announced – and everyone was thrilled, they gathered around the fire. “Is a true story!”

I had doubts about that, but I wrapped one arm around Leonard’s waist, my hand sliding under his shirt.

_Shouldn’t we go back to the ship?_

_No._

_Okay._

He never asked for any explanations regarding my decisions. He was not treating me like his master; he was treating me like a king. He was everything I ever wished for.

“There once was zis young taxi driver zat was working during ze night! And one day, he picked up a very beautiful woman zat had a henkerchhif at her mouth.”

“What was that, Pavel?” – I asked, since I did not understand the word.

“A – hand-ker-chief.”

“Oh. Please continue.”

Nobody seemed to mind that Leonard was in my arms. Almost everyone was in someone’s arms. I probed the mental surroundings telepathically but no one was judgmental. Perhaps it was acceptable to touch one’s mate in public. I wanted to experiment this. I wanted to show Leonard that he was more important to me than the rules of conduct I had been educated to follow on Vulcan. And I wanted everyone to know – beyond any doubt – that Leonard was mine, and mine alone. I turned his head towards me again, I caressed his lips with my thumb and I kissed him again. He responded timidly, which was normal – he always knew when I did not want much initiative. And right now, I did not want any.

“Ze driver thought zat ze young woman had a cold and did not ask questions. She told him ze address which was in ze poor part of Moscow and zey proceeded. It waz cold and foggy.”

“What time was it?” – Sulu wanted to know.

“Ooo, it waz 02:45. She did not speak at all, ze woman. But sometimes she coughed and when ze driver looked at her, he could see she was coughing up blood.”

I felt a wave of amusement through the _bond_ , from Leonard.

“What do you think she had, Doctor McCoy?” – Scotty wanted to know.

Leonard leaned comfortably against my chest.

“It’s hard to tell without further tests” – he said giggling. “But I’d go for tuberculosis.”

His body felt warm and I wrapped one arm around his neck, caressing his cheek with one finger, along the meld points. He was soft, compliant under my hand.

“So ze driver asked her, Maam, are you car-sick? Yu want me to stop? NO, she said. So ze driver did not stop. He took her to ze address and waited for her to pay. But ze young woman said, Lissen, I have no money with me but here, take my wedding ring, I go upstairs to bring you your money. I live at ze 7th floor, apartment 232.”

“Leonard, what does car-sick mean?” – I asked him, with my lips close to his ear.

“It’s like the space-sickness which you know I have – but in a small vehicle.”

Leonard slowly put his hand over mine, turned his head to the left and kissed my wrist. His lips on my skin were hot and sent shivers throughout my body.

“…so ze driver waited for her for like half an hour and she did not return. He was upset and took ze ring and went to zat building. He took ze elevator to ze 7th floor and he rang ze doorbell for ze apartment 232.”

Pavel was so amusing. The story was naïve but I could not guess what the end of it was. I believe that was the _suspense_ that humans praised. Amusing indeed.

_Do you know the end of this story, Leonard?_

_Well? What is it?_

_I am not telling you._

He was not telling me! My fingers were millimeters away from his face – and he was not telling me.

“…after a few minits of trying, a fat man in pajamas opened ze door. What do you want? He asked ze driver. Well, ze driver said, zis young woman said she would come with ze money for taxi drive, she left me her wedding ring but she didn’t return and I want my money now.”

I touched Leonard’s face.

_Spock, come on, don’t cheat._

_What do you mean, Leonard?_

_You want to take the end of the story from my mind. Don’t do that! Enjoy it! Ghost stories are fun!_

Fair enough.

He cuddles closer to me and I hold him tight.

“Ze man wanted to see ze wedding ring and he became really really pale, he looked like he was gonna faint. Ze driver looked at him worried and asked what happened. So ze man said…”

Pavel stopped – for the effect, I believe.

“What? What did he say?” – everyone wanted to know.

Even myself!

“… he said…“

“Come on, kid, you are torturing us!”

“Okey, he said –“ but instead of continuing, Chekov turned towards me: “Commander Spock may I drink a bit of Wodka? For courage?”

“Negative.” – I said. “Now continue.”

He sighed and resumed the story:

“He said: zis wedding ring belongs to my wife, who died seven years ago and she is buried in Novodevichy Cemetery. She was buried with zis ring on her finger.”

There was a deep silence and everyone was imagining different logical solutions to this outcome.

“That was really creepy, Mr. Chekov” – Scotty said. “How do you know it is even true?”

“Oh,” – Chekov said innocently. “I still have the ring!”

And he showed everybody a ring that he had on a chain around his neck.

“Huh? You were the taxi driver?”

“Yes.”

“Wow!”

_Leonard, is this story true?_

But Leonard started to laugh really hard.

“I fail to see what is so amusing.”

_You should ask your son!_

“Pavel, so this story – is it true?”

“Kommander, all Russian ghost stories are true!”

Now I was sure I was not going to get an answer to my query.

I slid my hand back under Leonard’s shirt, caressing his back.

_I will do very bad things to you._

_Sounds good._

I gave him one last kiss before ordering everyone up and back to the ship – Jim and Carol Marcus had already beamed up – when I sensed a wave of hostility towards myself and Leonard. I looked around and saw Nyota looking at us. I hadn’t talked to her in a long time and did not have the chance to apologize for causing her pain. She resented me – with reason. But I would deal with that later. Right now, I wanted to take Leonard back to our room and love him for endless hours. And I did exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Spock is playing:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V86d9Co05s
> 
> If you wish to see the score - let me know :)
> 
> This is my favorite Spock picture. Is he not the absolute king of the universe? :)


	3. Leonard

“Kirk to McCoy. Bones?”

I carefully removed Spock’s heavy arm from over my chest – luckily, his fingers weren’t on the meld points because I would have rather died than disengage a meld myself – and picked up my communicator. What the hell time was it anyways?

“Yeah, Jim?”

“Guys, are you busy?”

“We were, you know, sleeping. What’s going on?”

“Guys, I need to see you. Both of you.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

“Wait.”

I went to Spock, took one of his hands and kissed it. He opened his eyes. He immediately felt I was worried.

“What is it?”

“Jim wants to come here, looks important; is that okay?”

“Of course, Leonard, get dressed. I shall do the same.”

I had never seen anyone wake up so quickly than Spock. It was as if he had a switch.

“Okay Jim, we’re good, get down here.”

I got coffee for myself and Jim, and tea for Spock. Jim looked terrible. Which was strange because he had been so happy for the past three weeks – with Carol.

He sat on the couch near Spock and I took my tricorder and started scanning him. His vitals were way off.

“So. I just had a 4-hour fight.”

“With Carol???”

“No.”

“Then with whom?”

Spock was listening patiently. I wasn’t so patient.

“With Uhura.”

I nearly choked with my coffee.

“What?? Why?? Does it have to do with us?”

“Yeah. She requested a transfer.”

“Huh. A transfer.”

“… a transfer of one of you.”

Spock’s eyes darkened.

“On what grounds?”

“Favoritism. She filled in a report in which she actually mentions that you treated Spock prior to treating her after the incident on Velara IV one week ago.”

“That is ridiculous! She had a minor cut! Spock had a third-degree burn! Is she an expert on medical triage now?”

“She is angry and hurt Bones, she doesn’t think right. And Spock, I know you’ll hate it but… you have your fault in this. You should have talked to the woman at some point.”

“Indeed I should have. I shall go now.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t go, Spock. Let her calm down. I think it’s some sort of revenge. Did you do something to her?”

“I think” – Spock said, and his eyes were completely dark – “that she has seen me kissing Leonard that evening on Iconia, when we had a fire camp.”

“The fuck! That was three weeks ago!” – I snapped.

“Well Bones, hate to break this to you, but women are actually able to hold a grudge for that long and then – explode.”

“I will be back shortly” – Spock said and went out of the room. It was too sudden and I felt a bit dizzy.

“You okay Bones?”

“I’ll be fine when he returns. But you need to calm down, Jim. And I also need to calm down. I never liked that… woman, dammit. She has been pissing me off since your Kobayashi Maru. _And how do you expected to rescue them when we’re surrounded by Klingons, Captain?_ ”

“I know.”

“So are there any chances that we are being separated?”

“I don’t know, Bones. I don’t think so. But she has already sent those reports to Starfleet. She’s a bit disturbed.”

“Tell me something I don’t know. Jim, you can’t separate us. I’ll die.”

“You love him that much, huh?”

“ _Love_ – him? I worship him!”

“Right.”

Spock came back to our room – with a large bruise on his left cheek. My blood ran cold.

“I do hope you hit her back.”

“I did not.”

“Then **I’ll** hit her back. That bitch!”

“Leonard…”

I pulled him on the couch between me and Jim and took the dermal regenerator.

“Leonardleonard”, I mumbled furiously. “I’m supposed to let some random chick hit you just because she’s fuckin’ angry and you won’t at least defend yourself because you’re a gentleman. Hold still, dammit. This looks pretty bad.”

“…so, what did she say?” – Jim asked.

“I cannot reproduce, Captain.”

“Oh. So that did not go well.”

“Not at all.”

“As I was telling Jim while you were gone, she is fucking insane. Damn stupid wo-”

“Leonard, that – is – enough.” – he said in a sharp tone.

I froze, or rather my soul froze, and the _bond_ froze too, and I knew I had exaggerated and he was upset. He had cared for that woman and I was saying all the bad stuff I could imagine about her. Was I not the one who had  <stolen> her boyfriend?

I wanted to apologize but before I could say another word, he turned his head towards me and he had the deadly look.

“Not – one – word.”

So I did not say any other word.

“Alpha shift starting in 5 standard minutes” – the Computer announced.

“I shall accompany you to the Bridge, Captain” – Spock said.

Jim knew he should not interfere and they left.

Okay, so that was painful alright. He would not even let me apologize. Now I was positive I hated Nyota Uhura. It was going to be a cold and ugly day, so I went to Sickbay and plunged into work, to keep my mind occupied.

 

I wasn’t able to communicate with him telepathically. When he was upset, there was complete silence. I could only send a feeling of regret through the _bond_ , but it did not go through. Perhaps later he would pick it up, so I kept sending it, like a mental note. It was the first time since the oath – when Spock was angry with me. In about 4 hours, I was a mess. I could not focus, I had a mild fever, I was dizzy; my stomach was playing tricks of me and I was absolutely sure I never – ever – wanted to upset Spock again.

I went to the supplies room to pick up a few bottles of tetrazine and when I turned towards the door, Nyota Uhura was standing right in front of me.

Boy, was I pissed off. Yet, now it was not the time to tell her what was on my mind.

“Lieutenant.” – I said on a remotely polite tone.

“McCoy. I came to tell you something.”

“I’m listening...”

She had a medical tricorder in her hand and – when she hit my face with it – I never saw it coming.

 

My head felt as if it had just exploded and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was lying on the cold floor of my supply room, among broken bottles of various chemicals. That could not be good.

“Leonard?”

Spock’s voice. Then his hands, turning me on one side, which felt good, because I was choking with something that tasted like blood.

I tried to say something but i could hardly breathe. Spock took me in his arms and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“Commander Spock, he has a broken mandible, he needs immediate surgery.”

I felt his lips on my forehead before the world went black.

 

Oh, look, the ceiling of Sickbay. Thank God for a familiar sight. Oh, and I am connected to life support. Just wonderful. What the hell happened? … right. She – _she_ – had hit me with a medical tricorder. Hard. Enough to break my mandible. _Spock?_

He was right there, near me, holding my hand. He bent over and kissed my dry lips.

“Forgive me” – I said. “I never want this to happen again.”

“Nor I. It had unfortunate consequences. I kept the _bond_ closed and I was unaware of what was happening.”

“But you found me…”

“I have become aware of the problem only when you fell unconscious. I could have prevented this. I am to blame.”

“Spock… I don’t think anyone can prevent an angry woman from… expressing herself. By the way what happened?”

“She is in the brig. I have pressed charges.”

“You have?”

“Yes. She has attacked my bonded mate.”

Perhaps it was wise not to have any comments on the matter. I noticed Jim arriving.

“Hey Bonesy! How you feelin’?” – he said and put a hand on my arm. Don’t do that, you stupid kid! I saw Spock’s eyes darkening again.

“Captain. Please do not touch Leonard.”

Jim quickly removed his hand:

“I apologize, Mr. Spock, you are absolutely right.”

Someone was being overly possessive.

“I’m good, Jim. So what the hell is going on?”

“Well, as Spock has pressed charges, according to the Vulcan law, he can decide what is to be done with her. So I’ve come to ask about that.”

Spock said nothing for a while, he was thinking.

“She acted under the impulse of pure fury which obscures reason and logic” – he started. "And as we have a part of the blame, I think it would be only fair to proceed with her transfer off this ship to the Reman station and not to court-martial her.”

“Let me get this straight – you want me to transfer her to AnJoan Grey?”

“Affirmative. Either this, or Court-Martial. You can make your choice, Captain.”

“I guess… transfer it is. But only for 6 months. After that, she is free to return to Earth and she will be reassigned.”

“Very well, Captain, I accept. I wish to inform the Reman Emperor immediately.”

“I’ll ask someone from the bridge to patch him through to the terminal here.”

“There is no need, Captain. With your permission I will contact him myself.”

“Permission granted.”

Spock went to the terminal and worked on it silently for a while.

“Greetings, your Majesty” – I heard him say.

“Mr. Spock. What do you wish?”

Wow, they were not very chatty.

“I have sent you the file of one of our Lieutenants. We request that you approve her transfer aboard your Station.”

“For what reason?”

“Disciplinary measures. 6 months.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you love Leonard.”

“Oh. I see. I do love Leonard. What did she do to him?”

“She attacked him. He nearly lost his life.”

Perhaps Spock was exaggerating a bit.

“Let me see Leonard.”

Spock lowered the console’s wall-mount arm and turned it towards me. AnJoan Grey frowned.

“Hello, Leonard. You look awful.”

“…Thanks?”

“Okay, Commander Spock. Any instructions regarding this woman?”

“No.”

“Send her along, then.”

“Thank you.”

Jim took a deep breath.

“That went well. I’ll go make the necessary arrangements. And take a cold shower. And get drunk.”

 

I stood up, scanned myself, I was going to be alright. My face was hurting a lot and I had a large hematoma. M’Benga had done a fine job at reconstructing the mandible. I put my blue t-shirt on and looked at Spock.

“You still on duty? Or can we go home?”

“Home.”

That word was filling my heart.

Spock was in the monosyllabic mode that could easily evolve towards the dangerous mode. We went to our room; I took a shower and cleaned the blood out of my hair. Half of my head was hurting so I took a hypo, returned to the room, lay on the bed and injected it into my neck.

“Dammit.”

Spock came to me immediately and sat on the margin of the bed:

“Are you not feeling well, Leonard?”

“It just hurts a little.”

“Rest. I need to meditate for a while.”

“Okay.”

It was not like I could sleep without him, so I took a book from the floor and started reading. After half an hour, Spock came to me, took the book away from my hands, placed a bookmark in it and deposed it on the floor. He kissed my lips a few times and everything inside me started to melt. He lay near me and continued to kiss me and to caress my hair. Whatever he wanted from me, I was ready to give him and I would not dare to ask for something in return.

He kissed me deeply, but with care, while his fingers touched my left cheek. He apparently could not find the meld points and pressed harder. The pain I felt was sudden and merciless and he removed his hand immediately.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No…”

“Leonard, do not lie to me.”

“It’s just the hematoma, it’s normal to hurt. And you did not hurt me. She did.”

His eyes became dark when he suddenly realized:

“She has hit you this way in order to destroy the meld points.”

“What???”- I nearly jumped out of bed.

“The meld points are delicate terminations of nerves located on your left cheek – if someone injures you, those terminations can be – “

Spock stopped and breathed deeply. What I felt through the _bond_ could be described as pure anger.

I wrapped my hands around his neck quickly.

“Spock. Please look at me.”

He did, with the deadly glare. Uhura would not have survived him, should she have met him in that very second.

“I’m positive the meld points are there under the hematoma. No terminations of nerves have been damaged, I promise you. I have scanned myself carefully. Here,” – and I gave him my medical scanner – “scan me and see for yourself.”

He took the device and spent a full half an hour scanning every inch of myself.

“The level of adrenalin is elevated, why?”

“Because I was angry at myself for having upset you, and because I miss you and I miss the melds and your lips and your hands and everything.”

“How long until this hematoma is healed?”

“Probably a week or so.”

“No more melds for a week, then. That should give us a good idea of the importance of melding for both of us – and also of what can happen if you disobey me.”

“I am very sorry, Spock.”

“Do not – do this – again, Leonard.”

“I will not.”

I pulled him closer and felt him relaxing a bit.

“Would you give me a kiss, master?” – I whispered.

The sound of that word, that I never could quite pronounce (he had never asked me to, even though under Vulcan law I was his _property_ ) filled both of us with an indescribable emotion. His anger melted away; his eyes filled with the burning flames of desire. He needed to feel I was his.

“I would.” – he said, and he kissed me possessively, deeply, for a long time, while his hands undressed me. He could not have my mind, but he could have my body and that was almost as satisfying.


	4. Nyota. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate Leonard McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Warning! Warning!  
> This Chapter features graphic depictions of violence against a woman (temporary and non-life-threatening)  
> Do not read if you think this may be offensive to you.

I hate Leonard McCoy. I hate Spock and I hate Jim Kirk. This famous trio has effectively ruined my life. God, I hate them! I had everything. I had a nice career ahead of me, good friends, and I had the most gorgeous future husband in the universe. Until Leonard McCoy stole him from me. I have never been so angry in my entire life! I only wish I would’ve hit him harder with that tricorder. I wanted Spock to feel the pain I felt when he left me.

God, I mean he did not even have the courage to break up with me! I had to find out from fuckin’ Pavel Chekov! I hate Vulcans. And here I thought he was a man of honor! What honor? He sees nothing but _LeonardLeonardLeonard!_ He is blinded by Leonard. Let’s see how he’ll deal with things when The Beloved Leonard dumps him just like he dumped his wife and daughter.

Gosh, I hope I never ever see Spock again. Or Leonard, for that matter – because I’m going to –

I feel anger pulsating through my veins at such a high speed, that I wish I could smash something.

So, I am being transferred to the Reman Space Station. I haven’t seen AnJoan Grey so far but I heard he’s particularly ugly. Oh well, any company is better than that of Jim Kirk & co.

“Permission to dock.”

“Permission granted on docking ring five.”

I dock my shuttle and take my padd with the transfer orders. I step out of the shuttle.

I go forward; there are four Romulans waiting for me. One of them is very beautiful.

“Greetings, Lady.”

Lady? Those people were polite.

“Greetings.”

“I am Sial AnThoren, his Majesty’s Viceroy. You will accompany me to meet his Majesty immediately.”

“Fine.”

“Are you familiar with the Reman protocol?”

“I am familiar with the Starfleet protocol.”

“We do not abide by that protocol here. This is an Imperial space station. You will kneel in front of his Majesty and wait for him to speak to you. Then, you will – “

I’ve changed my mind. Those guys weren’t polite, they were horrifying.

I grabbed him by his coat and pushed him against a wall.

“I don’t _kneel_ in front of anyone, Sir. Do tell that to his _Majesty_.”

He looked at me as if I was crazy or something. I did not care. Nobody will ever fuck with me.

We stopped in front of two large doors.

“Wait here, please.”

He went inside, probably to announce me, and then the doors opened and I entered a large – and rather dark – room.

So, here I was! I was standing in the ceremonial hall of his Majesty AnJoan Grey. Boy, was he ugly: sharp teeth, long nails that looked like claws, reptile-like skin, dark-red eyes, pointy ears! Shivers of disgust went through my body. Oh, how I hated Leonard McCoy! It was all because of him.

“Go forward”, I heard the beautiful Romulan say.

So, I went forward until I was face to face with AnJoan Grey.

“Lieutenant Nyota Uhura of the Federation Starship Enterprise.” – he said in a deep, low voice, as if he was savoring every word.

“Reporting for duty as ordered.”

He came closer to me, invading my personal space, studying me.

“Such a beautiful woman… what a pity.”

“Huh?”

What the hell did he mean?

But I immediately found out because he hit me hard over my face, so I fell to the ground.

Stupid disgusting monster that hits women!

“Sial?” – he said, and the beautiful Romulan approached and grabbed me by my hair, forcing me to look up to the Emperor – I was on my knees. Boy, that didn’t take long.

He lifted up my chin with one claw.

“That was for Leonard McCoy.”

“What do you care about – “

“I love him, you see.”

“Oh. What a pity” – I said trying to get up, but his guard dog was holding me down firmly; anyways I continued struggling. “It must kill you that he belongs to Spock.”

“Commander Spock and I have come to terms about that. I do not touch what is his. Are you his?”

“I was.”

“Not anymore?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“None of your goddamn business.”

He gave me a very dangerous look. Things were not going so well.

“He left me.”

“Why?”

“For your beloved Leonard!!” – I said, trying really hard not to cry.

“Oh. That’s understandable. Leonard is… one of a kind. Now, woman, give me your right hand.”

I did not make a single move, so Sial grabbed my hand and held it up. Grey put a bracelet around my wrist, beautiful with red and green gems.

“What the hell are you doing?”

 “Now,” – he continued, without giving me any explanations about the bracelet – “you will decide what protocol you wish to follow. Because if you wish to go by the Starfleet rules, you will be in the brig for having hit a fellow Officer. The Vulcan may have not sent you to be court-martialed, but I will, and until then, you will be where you deserve to be. Now on the other hand, if you wish to follow the Reman protocol, Sial will teach you the protocol rules tomorrow morning. You will be assigned several duties and you will be treated correctly, according to our rules.”

It started to occur to me that maybe I had been an idiot. I had been blinded by anger – and now my life was falling apart. One thing I was sure of: I hated Leonard McCoy.

“The Reman protocol,” I said faintly.

“Now, that wasn’t so difficult, wasn’t it?”

“What’s with this bracelet?”

“That bracelet is the _Klessar_.”

“…meaning??”

“Meaning, Nyota Uhura, you will be mine.”

“Yours, huh?”

“Exactly. My mate.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Don’t talk back to me, woman. It is not good for your health. You will appreciate, in time, the fact that our ways of claiming a mate are far more elegant than those of our distant relatives, the Vulcans. Now stand up. Sial, drag her to my quarters because I doubt she’ll walk by herself.”

I tried to remove the bracelet but it was not possible.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

The beautiful Romulan pulled me up to my feet and we went after AnJoan Grey.

“Will you let go of my arm? I **can** walk by myself.”

“I am sure you can, Lady.” – but he did not release me until we arrived to the imperial quarters.

“Sial, have four security guards outside my door. This woman is to be strictly guarded. I will send you your instructions in a few minutes.”

“Very well, your Majesty. Good night.”

Grey pulled me inside his room and the doors closed behind us. The room was chilly.

“The bathroom is over there. Replicate whatever clothes you desire – and food.”

I went to wash, quickly glancing through the large apartment. There was a computer terminal, but there was no way I could send any SOS message. I tried to imagine the horrible reptile trying to touch my body and my stomach turned. I was positive I was going to throw up if he was going to – Oh well. Should he try, I will fight him to the death. That’s it.

I dressed in black yoga pants and a black t-shirt. The bracelet at my wrist was indeed beautiful. It had a monitoring device – most certainly. I had to disable it, if I wanted to get out of there.

I went back to the room.

“Eat.” – he said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“As you wish. It looks like the Vulcan did not have much success with you.”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“He is very good at teaching submission.”

“I bow to no one.”

“You easily forget that ten minutes ago you were on your knees in front of me.”

“Because you forced me to!”

“I did, and I will, but you will eventually kneel out of your own will.”

“Never.”

“It is not wise to say _never._ Now come to bed.”

“Thanks but I’ll sleep on this couch here.”

“Stubborn woman, no wonder he did not want you. As you wish. Computer, reduce temperature to five degrees Celsius and raise humidity to 70%. Lights to 10%.”

The environment changed accordingly.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I am going to sleep. There is a thermal sleeping bag for you here, so come on.”

“No.”

AnJoan closed his eyes.

In about 15 minutes, all my clothes were soaking wet and I was freezing. Hypothermia had already installed. I cuddled on the couch but I felt life draining out of me.

“Ppplease, I will die.” – I said.

“ _Please_ is a nice word. Come on, come here.”

“I am aaa-fraid.”

“That is a promising start.”

He got out of the bed, took me in his arms, tore all my clothes off me with a single move and wrapped me in a warm thermal blanket, then in a sleeping bag. I was finally getting warm.

“Now, let me hear a _thank you.”_

“Thank you,” – I whispered before drifting into unconsciousness.

*

Leonard was in the OR and I was in his office in Sickbay, working on some crew evaluations. The lack of melds had affected both of us terribly. Leonard had psi points only on the left cheek, and the large hematoma was still visible. I wonder what kind of diabolic mind did that woman (I could not even pronounce her name anymore) have, in order to do such a thing. She wanted to take something from us; she had succeeded.

I am guilty for what has happened. I should have talked to her; I could have avoided all this. We could have still been friends; or at least co-workers. I am not proud of the way I managed things. She was blinded by anger; I was blinded by the irresistible urge to protect my mate. Apart we are…

No melds – that is an approximate definition of hell: being kept away from Leonard’s mind. His mind is my home; his mind is where the beginning and the end of my life stand.

Unlike other humans, Leonard treasures the mind-melds more than anything. Even more than sex. He is not highly preoccupied by sex anyways. He burns with desire at times – but he can do without for long periods of time. The melds, however…

When I enter his mind, I feel him lowering all his defenses, abandoning to me completely. Never hiding anything from the one you belong to – this is the purest expression of love.

He finished the surgery and he comes to me. He smiles and he is so beautiful –

“How did it go?” – I asked.

“It was all right. The appendectomy is one of the easiest surgeries. Do you still have work to do?“

I was watching his cheek carefully.

“We will attempt a meld.”

His eyes became more luminous and the _bond_ lit brightly under the impact of the sudden emotion.

“…now?”

“When we get home.”

 “Let’s go, then?”

“Very well.”

We left and he punched the access code to our quarters; he stepped aside so that I go in first as he always did; it is a gesture of respect that I highly appreciate. Leonard continues to treat me as a king. I go shower and change clothes and he does the same.

I lay on the bed, waiting for him to come to me. When he is near me, I roll over him and kiss him a few times; I stop and I look into his eyes:

“Are you ready?”

“I am.”

“This will hurt.”

I place my fingers on the meld points – that I can finally perceive again on his cheek – and I enter his mind; it is the meld itself that is painful. We haven’t done this for more than one week; the first contact sends shivers of pain throughout his body. I bow my head and kiss his dry lips a few times.

His heart-rate accelerates.

“Spock…”

“Be silent, Leonard.”

He does not say anything else; I wrap my other hand around his waist and hold him tight against me. I lean my forehead against his and I wait for the pain to go away.

“Breathe deeply, Leonard”, I tell him. “I know it hurts, but I will not stop. Relax and give yourself to me.”

 _Do anything you want with me_ , I hear in his mind and I know he means it with everything that he is.


	5. Leonard. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Leonard, that was not a suggestion. Did it sound like one?”

Oh, wow, does my head hurt or what…

Spock maintained the meld for full five hours. Now I feel much better and much worse: they were full five hours of bliss and extreme pain. Whoever said my life with Spock was easy, was surely delusional. Whoever said melds were pure happiness, never had a migraine.

I’m in a bad mood. I’m in the “Leonard McCoy” mood, and not in the "Leonard-who-belongs-to-Spock” mood. I do hope Spock realized that the “package” includes these moods too when he wanted **all** of me.

We were on the Bridge; he was in command; I was off-duty but as usual I stayed close to him. Jim was down on Calder II with the ship’s historian, to collect some artifacts.

I had a surgery scheduled in 3 hours, when my shift started; hopefully, the headache would go away by then. My nurse Chapel came to the Bridge with some padds to be approved by Spock and she saw me leaning against a console. I must have looked bad because she came and put her hand on my arm. I was already pretty jumpy but when she touched me I flinched away:

“God dammit! Don’t touch me.”

“Leo, what is the matter with you? You are very pale.”

Spock stood up and turned towards us.

Chapel made another attempt to take my arm.

“Will you stop it??”

“Wow, someone’s really grumpy today!”

“What is the matter?”- he asked, his eyes already dark. “Are you not feeling well, Doctor?”

This could become dangerous if she insisted in touching me. I took the padds from her hand.

“Go. To Sickbay.” – I grinned at her.

“But Leo – “

“Now!”

She finally left and I went to Spock with the padds. He retook his seat and I gave him the padds to be examined and signed.

“I apologize”, I said. “She is unaware of the fact that she should not touch me.”

“ **Do** inform her later.”

“I will.”

“Does your head hurt?”

“ _Hurt_ doesn’t begin to even describe the problem.”

“Go and have two hours of sleep before the surgery.”

“Nah, I’ll be okay.”

He turned his head towards me slowly.

“Leonard, that was not a suggestion. Did it sound like one?”

“Stop treating me like a damn child, okay?” – I snap.

His eyes darken even more. I feel pain through the _bond_.

Why is he uselessly hurting me ? The sudden revolt I feel makes my stomach twist. I’d better leave.

I go to our quarters and lay down on the couch – my head hurts. I feel irritated. I am still the goddamn CMO! I know what was best for me.

I get up and go retrieve a body for an autopsy, ignoring the sharp pain coming to me as a silent warning through the _bond_.

*

The temperature of the imperial quarters was back to normal when I woke up.

“Computer, time!” – I asked.

“The time is 205.8”

Whatever that meant.

I gazed through the room, but the Emperor was not there. On the bed there was a medical tricorder – why? – and a tray of fruit. I discovered I was completely naked – except the beautiful bracelet at my hand. Oh I swear to God that if he touched me while I was sleeping –

I took the medical tricorder and scanned myself – and it dawned to me that this was why he’d left me the tool – to check and see for myself that he did not do all those things I was imagining. I went and replicated new clothes and ate the fruit he’d left me. Breakfast in bed? This could have been much worse. AnJoan Grey himself could have been much worse.

I went outside the apartment and I was greeted by four Romulan guards. Not this again!

“This way, Lady” – they told me, and I was lead to Communications lab. The beautiful Viceroy arrived shortly after.

“Good morning. I trust you had a good rest, Lady.”

I gave him a horrible look.

“This shall be your working lab. Your duty roster is on that table. The report of activities takes place daily at 517.22.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Are you unfamiliar with the Reman time measurements?”

“Obviously.”

“I shall install a conversion app on your personal padd. I shall come pick you up for the report myself. The protocol for the report is the following…”

“Oh, no.”

“…should the Emperor call your name, you will go in front of him, kneel and wait for him to address you. You will answer concisely all his questions and at the end, you will kiss his hand. I will assist you for your first time.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“If you meet the Emperor during the day, similarly, put one knee down and wait.”

“Great.”

“Any questions?”

“What is the _Klessar_?”

“The bracelet you are wearing is the _Klessar_.”

“Doh! That, I’ve already figured out. What does it represent?”

“You are his Majesty’s intended mate.”

“ _Intended_?”

“Yes.”

“So if we don’t… get along, he’ll remove this Klessar?”

“Yes. The Klessar has not been given to a woman in hundreds of years. It is a great honor – although personally I do not know what he finds in you.”

“Why thank you. Bunch of idiots.”

The Viceroy came closer to me:

“You will not speak of him in this manner! If you harm him in any way, you will answer to me – and you do not want that.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“I am informing you. I know what you are capable of. A woman who defies Spock of Vulcan is capable of anything. If you harm my Emperor, I will not let you live.”

I gazed at him silently. That was a dangerous man.

“Well, if this is all, I will leave you to your work. I will come pick you up for the report.”

I was alone in the lab. First, I examined the bracelet but there was no recording or monitoring device inside. Strange. I checked the computer terminal – it was possible to contact anyone outside the Station. Even stranger.

I sat down and initiated a call to the Enterprise.

 

“Kommander? You have a priority one call from ze Reman Space Station.”

“From the Emperor?”

“Is from Lieutenant Nyota Uhura.”

“Patch it through to the console in the Captain’s ready room, please.”

“Aye, Sir.”

 

**“Hello, Spock.”**

**“Hello, Lieutenant. Do you have the Emperor’s permission to make this call?”**

**“Did you send me here to die?”**

**“Are you hurt by any chance, Lieutenant?”**

**“Do you even care?”**

**“Are you going to answer at least one of my questions?”**

**“Are you?”**

**We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, like two enemies ready to kill.**

**“End transmission.”**

 

No. I was not going to ask for any help from the Enterprise. It was about the damn time I started to fix what they have broken inside of me.

I took the padd to see what work has been assigned to me. I was Chief Communications Officer – wait, from day one? – and my first assignment was to create an encryption code for transmissions throughout the Neutral Zone. That was difficult and challenging! I plunged into work and did not even realize when the hours went by. I set up the basis for an encryption system and proceeded to testing it. I needed access to the main computer. I also needed to figure out the Reman pictograms. I also needed –

“Greetings again, Lady.”

“Oh, good! Listen, I need access to the main computer.”

“You **have** access to the main computer.”

“What?”

“Your security clearance is on your padd.”

“Oh.”

They were giving me access to the main computer from day one. Strange.

“It is time for the Report.”

“Already? What time is it?”

“517.01”

“Oh. Okay. Fine. Who has assigned me such an interesting word?”

“His Majesty.”

“…In person?”

“Yes.”

I went after him, followed by my ever-present security guards. The entire crew of the space-station was gathered in the ceremonial chamber. Grey was standing in the middle of the room and was wearing simple black clothes and a black pelerine on his shoulders – why did I have this impression that he was supposed to sit down on a beautiful throne?  He seemed to have rather austere preferences.

“H’Deinni Kassus.” – he said – was his voice beautiful, or what?

A Romulan officer went forward and knelt in front of the Emperor.

“Report on the Dominion troups.”

“Thirty-four Jem-Haddar vessels are aligned along the border of the Neutral Zone, your Majesty. Upon analysis we have concluded that their intentions are offensive.”

“Deploy defenses along our side of the border. Contact the Romulan Praetor and advise I wish to speak with him in two solar cycles from now.”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

The Romulan kissed Grey’s hand and left immediately.

I turned to Sial AnThoren:

“This is difficult.”

“No, it is not. Be calm.”

“What if I do not kneel?”

“That would be a very bad idea.”

“Why? What happens?”

“What happened yesterday – except, now there are 150 people present.”

“But why do I have to – “

“Listen” – he said – and seemed angry – "why do you think it happens like this? Do you actually think he wants to humiliate everyone, or what? He is the Emperor of a race! Do you not study diplomatic protocols at Starfleet Academy?”

“We do.” – I shrugged.

“And?”

“And you’re right.”

“Thank you!”

“Nyota Uhura” – the Emperor said.

Oh. Oh well.

I went to him, walking proudly, followed by Sial AnThoren.

I stopped in front of AnJoan Grey, looking straight into his eyes.

He waited.

I did nothing.

“On your knees…” – he said on a low voice.

“No.”

“Do it – now” – I heard Sial’s voice behind me – “or I **will** break both your legs.”

I did it, hating them with every cell in my body.

“Status of the encryption system?” – he asked.

“Operational. Needs to be tested” – I grinned.

“Excellent work. Sial, begin tests at once. Also, assign her a flight instructor and a Class D war-bird for learning. She starts tomorrow.”

He was assigning me a war-bird??

He gave me his hand. I touched it with my lips – barely – feeling horror and disgust and – shame.

The guards escorted me to the Imperial apartment where he also came. He was overly quiet. He went to the console and worked for a while, while I cuddled on the couch and ate pieces of apple.

My eyes were closing but I was afraid to fall asleep. Who knows what could … happen …

I feel his arms carrying me to bed and wrapping me in the thermal blanket before altering the environmental controls. I open my eyes and gazed at him.

“Did you have a nice chat with Commander Spock?”

“ _Nice_ is not exactly the word. Plus, I’m sure you've listened to the transmission.”

“I do not do such things.”

“… you don’t?”

“No. You are not a prisoner here. You may speak to whomever you wish, although I do not see why you would talk to my Vulcan friend.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It is not good for you.”

“Oh, and you care?”

“Sleep well.”

He did not say another word.

*

After surgery, I went back to the anatomy lab (it was, in fact, the equivalent of a morgue) to continue the autopsy. It had been a rare occasion to learn about the anatomy of a male ixian. The headache is still torturing me and I need to think of something **else** for a while. I initiate full quarantine of the laboratory so that no one comes in. My bad mood has evolved into a dreadful one.

Oh wow, he has five coronary arteries.

What the hell am I doing, in fact?

“Leonard.” – I hear his voice through the speakers.

“Yes?”

“Open the door, please.”

“I can’t, the lab is quarantined.”

 “Why have you initiated quarantine?”

“I am busy.”

A short silence.

“Come home when you’re done.”

“Sure.”

 

I finish the autopsy in about four hours but I don’t return to our quarters. I sit down and write a detailed report for another two hours, with the ixian’s internal organs aligned in trays in front of me. I start to get tired and I realize the _bond_ is silent, that my soul aches, my head hurts and I’m an idiot. It had been a bad day, but what excuse did I have for having been such an ass?

I put everything away and I go home.

 

Spock was placing an empty cup of tea back into the replicator. He looks at me, his eyes cold. I throw my med-bag on the floor and come to him.

“Spock, I am sorry.”

“What are you sorry for, Leonard?”

“For being such an idiot today.”

I touch his hand but the sudden pain I feel nearly knocks me off my feet.

“Do not touch me”, he says.

I look at him and I am lost, I do not know what to do.

“Lights, 10 %” – he orders and he goes to bed.

I lay on the couch and I count the hours left until the alpha shift.


	6. Jim. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I said – I was sorry.”
> 
> “Does that mean Forgive me?”
> 
> “It… does not…”

Okay, so something is definitely wrong. My First Officer is calm, composed, but overly silent. I chatter all kinds of nonsense and he barely acknowledges me. He throws in an occasional “Yes, Captain” once in a while. He is at his station, gazing at the controls. Whenever our eyes meet, I can see that they are darker than usual.

I wonder if there is something wrong with Bones? Or, even worse, with Bones AND Spock? Bones usually spends many hours on the bridge when Spock is on duty. But today he is not here, I haven’t even seen him.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Where’s Bones?”

“Doctor McCoy is in Anatomy Lab 3.”

“Oh. Oooh!!”

“Is there something the matter?” - Spock wants to know.

“Is he doing autopsies?”

“Affirmative.”

“Lots of?”

“He has performed 3 in the last 24 hours.”

“You have the conn.”

I know Bones well. I’ve known him for many years already. When he’s doing autopsies, he is in a bad, really bad mood. In pain. He has those once in a while and he shuts down from everyone until the _demons_ go away. I wonder if Spock is aware of those demons and if Bones has done something really idiot. He would do idiot things to me, but I was Jim Kirk, his best friend, his brother; Spock was… something else. And I was positive that Bones should not do idiot stuff to Spock.

All in all, Bones was still my best friend. I had to help.

“Open the door, Bones.”

“It’s quarantined.”

“Do I look like I care? Open the door, or I’ll override it.”

“You can’t override it, kid. Let me work, okay?”

“Bones, do I have to request a complete shutdown of all systems so that the door would open?”

“You can’t do that, we are at Warp.”

“Kirk to Commander Spock.”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Drop out of Warp.”

“Acknowledged.”

Bones rolls his eyes and opens the door.

“Damn stupid kid. Grab a mask. I don’t want you to get any allergies or a virus. That’s the last thing I need.”

I ignore his request.

 “Okay Bones. What is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really? So why is my First Officer gloomy like a solar eclipse and you haven’t set foot on the Bridge?”

“Jim…”

“No! I want to know.”

“We had a fight, okay?”

“For what reason?”

“What the hell, Jim, are you interrogating me?”

“I actually am.”

“Look… it was my fault, I’ve been an ass and an idiot. I’ve got one of those really bad… moments of mine. You know what I mean. And then, I screwed up.”

“Fix it.”

“Why the hell is it important to you anyways?”

“Because I can’t stand it! You are my friends and I love you! – Don’t tell Spock I said that, by the way – I He is miserable and monosyllabic and you are doing – autopsies.”

“What’s wrong with doing autopsies?”

“Bones. You’re doing autopsies only when you’re really low.”

“So? I’m really low.”

“Go. Fix. It.”

“Where the hell shall I go? To the Bridge??”

“Yes!”

“Look. Jim. Leave us alone, okay. We’ll get over this.”

“No. Now! Do whatever it takes.”

“I already did! He needs time to forgive me. Not everyone can shift through emotions like you, kid! Give the man a break. And give **me** a break, for that matter.”

“Okay, Bones, as you wish. Are you sure you said _forgive me?_ ”

“I said – _I was sorry_.”

“Does that mean _Forgive me?_ ”

“It… does not…”

“So say the right thing. I’ll send him to you.”

“NO! Leave him alone, Jim. Watching me do autopsies is the last thing he needs.”

I went back to the Bridge and when Spock stood up, I gave him a sharp look.

“Commander, please go to Anatomy Lab 3 and give this padd to Doctor McCoy.”

Spock took the padd from my hand and went to Anatomy Lab 3. I traced his comm. signal on the display and when I saw him entering the lab –

“Computer, initiate emergency lockdown to Anatomy Lab 3, authorization Kirk _alpha alpha one two seven alpha._ ”

Chekov turns towards me and gives me a worried look.

 “Keptin?”

 I sneeze.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you initiate emergency lockdown?”

“So that they can fix whatever it doesn’t work.”

“Ze problem with ze door you mean?”

“Nevermind, kid... Wait, what problem with the door?”

 “Ze lab door is defective. Doktor M’Benga reported it yesterday.”

“Oh. Well – shit.”

I sneeze again, I feel I am getting a flu and I’m positive I’m spreading it around.

 

*

I am exhausted after three hours of flight lessons and I need to change clothes. The four guards are following me around. I told them to wait outside the imperial apartment while I shower and I put on a new uniform. I have a ton of duties! After the three hours of flight, I have eight hours of lab work and one hour of exercise in the gym. I started sleeping like a log in the 5 degrees Celsius environment during the nights.

I was drying my hair in a towel when AnJoan Grey came in and stopped – he did not expect to find me there, and I did not expect for him to come in either.

“Oh God,” – I said, dreading the sight of him. “Please don’t say _on your knees_.”

He started to laugh – what a strange thing. He could laugh.

“No, I am not going to say that. I am only saying that during the report, and I really wish I didn’t.”

“Then don’t!”

“I won’t, if you do it as it is normal and as everyone else does.”

“….no.”

“I thought as much. Then I’ll have to keep saying it, unfortunately. What are you doing home so early?”

 **Home**.

“I needed to wash my hair. It’s a girls’ thing. I’ll go back to my station immediately.”

“Very well. Your guards are just outside.”

“Listen, why do they need to follow me around? Do you believe I will run away?”

“I do not believe such a thing.”

“Do you think I am a wild beast that will assassinate your crew?”

“You **are** a wild beast, but I do not think you are planning to assassinate anyone.”

“So? What are they for?”

“They are for your protection, Nyota.”

“Protection?”

“Yes. You are very beautiful and it’s not a quality here.”

I felt sad all of a sudden. The horrible monster in front of me had been treating me far better than anyone else in my life. I went back to my lab. I managed to get to the report at 517.20 hours and waited patiently, but that day he did not call my name. I went to our quarters and lay on the bed; he came very late, when I was already half asleep. I felt the temperature changing – meanwhile I figured out that he was not doing this to torture me, but in order to regenerate; he needed a specific environment.

I wanted to thank him – for taking care of me –

I got up, found his hand resting on a black pillow and touched it with my lips gently.

None of us says anything.


	7. Leonard. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will you allow me to apologize properly?”
> 
> “Here? Now?”
> 
> “Yes and yes.”

Oh Lord, so there he was – Spock, dark and gloomy, with a padd in his hand. And then the alarm for emergency lockdown.

I stand up promptly.

“Spock, what are you doing here? It is not safe – “

“The Captain has required that I bring you this padd.“

“Damn that stupid kid! McCoy to Kirk.”

“Kirk here” – I heard, followed by a row of sneezes.”

“May I know why the hell did you lock us into the Morgue?”

“S-sorry Bones. I did not mean to. I mean, I meant to, but I didn’t know the door was defective.”

“Computer, disengage the emergency lockdown and release the door.”

“Unable to comply.”

“Just great. Computer, begin decontamination sequence.”

“Decontamination sequence initiated.”

“Okay, now first things first.”

I turned towards Spock who was still near the door, obviously trying to put some logic into what was happening.

I went to him, I took the padd from his hands and put it away.

“Will you allow me to apologize properly?”

“Here? Now?”

“Yes and yes.”

“Very well. Proceed.” – his voice cold and sharp.

So I took a deep breath and knelt in front of him, on the cold floor. I had done this two times already, always out of my own will, but it was still splitting my soul in half with emotion. I took his hands and I looked up to him. His eyes were widened in surprise; he was obviously not expecting this kind of apology.

“I am very sorry, Spock. Please forgive me. I will try to explain, if you want.”

“I am listening.”

“I have these moments when everything goes downhill sometimes. I’ve always had them. There was a time when I would wash them away with alcohol. Now I… am doing autopsies and being an idiot. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Yet, you did.”

“Forgive me,” I said again.

He looked at me for a few moments, his eyes as cold as ever.

“…I **will** do this again, you know. This is how I am. I have my own demons that I myself must deal with. I am asking you to understand, and if you can, to accept.”

“I can very well accept your demons, Leonard… and if you want to fight them alone, so be it. But I will not allow you to avoid me, to hide the demons from me and under no circumstances will I ever allow you to treat me the way that you did. Is that clear?”

“Yes…” – I whispered. _Yes, Master_. – my mind whispered.

“It will not hurt to remember _this_ more often, Leonard.”

“ _This_?”

“This, which you cannot pronounce. That – before anything else, I am your Master. Act – accordingly. Or have you forgotten that **this** is the nature of the  _bond_ that you requested to be matured in the Katric Ark?”

I shift my gaze downwards.

"I have not forgotten."

“Stand up.”

I feel the heaviness partially lifting from our bond. I stand up, although there is much left unsaid. And he actually did **not** say _I forgive you_. Maybe I needed to earn that.

“Now open the door,” – he demands. “I am cold.”

The temperature was 10 degrees Celsius, much too cold for him.

I go to the computer but although the decontamination process is complete, the door won’t open. I punch the comm. system near the door.

“McCoy to Bridge. Jim, I can’t open the damn door.”

“Iz Chekov here, Doktor.”

“Where is the Captain?”

“Iz not feeling well, Doktor. He went Sickbay.”

“What were the symptoms?”

“Like sudden flu. Also, Sulu went. Meby is an epidemic.”

“Damn! Jim must have picked a virus from here and now he’s spreading it around. Who is in command?”

“Keptin didn’t say.”

Spock came near the embedded comm. system near the door.

“Mr. Chekov, full stop, all systems on standby and assume command.”

“Yes, Kommander.”

“Wow, I have a déjà-vu”, I complained while I still struggled to release the door, without any luck.

“What is the emergency lockdown cancel procedure?” – Spock asked me.

“The person initiating it must cancel it, or it can be overridden by the Chief Medical Officer.”

“Override it already, Leonard. I am freezing.”

“I tried! It won’t open. Computer, increase the temperature by ten degrees Celsius.”

“Unable to comply.”

“There’s a malfunction. McCoy to Chekov. Kid, can you help us with the door? It will not open.”

“Ze door is defective. I told ze Keptin but he… Anyways zere is an access panel near ze comm. system, Doktor, you see it?”

“Yes.”

“You need to open ze panel and reroute the D4 circuit to the secondary access port, do you understent?”

“Not much.”

I tried to open the access panel but the plastic door covering it was jammed. Nothing was working properly. Spock pulled it out of the wall with a sudden gesture. Damn, was this man strong.

“When you finish rerouting tell me” – Chekov said. I will zen be able to release the door from here.

I gazed at the huge amount of wires.

“Let me”, Spock said.

I moved aside and he started to look for the right port with trembling hands, he was freezing. I wrapped my arms around him, my whole body against his. He sighed, feeling a bit better.

He managed to reroute the circuit and leaned against me, waiting. I held him tighter, with my hands over his.

“We’re ready, Chekov.”

“Okey, I am doing it now and please come to ze Bridge.”

The door opened, we could finally get out. I let him go of my arms with regret. He proceeded towards the Bridge.

“Spock…”

He turned to look at me.

“I need to go to Sickbay.”

“Very well. I will be waiting for a report.”

“Sure. I mean, yes, Commander.”

I hadn't called him that in a long while but it seemed like I’d just made a very good choice, because more of the heaviness lingering between us lifted.

He went to the Bridge and I went to a Sickbay flooding with patients. It was going to be a long day.

 

 

*

 

My flight lessons are progressing wonderfully, and so does my ability to speak Reman. It is by far the most difficult language I have ever learnt.

AnJoan Grey is reading daily reports. I stay a few meters away from him on the couch, legs crossed.

“Tatoo gow halainn” – I struggle to pronounce.

He lifts his eyes from his padd.

“What – did you say?”

“I am sorry. Was it that bad?”

“Awful, actually. Come here.”

I took my book with me and went closer to him.

“Try again.”

“Tatoo gow halainn”

“Tá tú go hálainn” – he corrects me.

“Tá tú go hálainn” – I repeat.

He smiles.

“Do you know what you said?”

“I wanted to say _You are beautiful._ ”

“Why?”

“it is a good sentence. Grammatically speaking.”

“I see.”

“…it’s also the truth.” – I dared.

“If this is an attempt to flattery, it is a very poor one. I am anything but beautiful. You consider me a disgusting monster. ”

I feel hurt by his words. I close the book and I go towards the door.

“Where are you going?” – his voice low and dangerous.

“To my lab.”

“You do not have any work assigned at this time.”

“I’ll go study there so that I do not disturb you.”

“Nyota, come back. Please.”

I stubbornly ignore him and I leave. My heart aches.


	8. Spock. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are we setting up safewords?” – I wanted to know.
> 
> “Kind of."

Leonard has synthesized a serum for the flu that the Captain has spread around the ship. We diffused it through the air system and things are more or less under control now. More than two thirds of the crew are unwell, though. Pavel and I are alternating shifts on the Bridge. Leonard has no one to replace him in Sickbay.

Ever since our discussion in the Anatomy Lab, he has been extremely careful with his behavior towards myself. I find this satisfactory. A more strict approach to our relationship seems to keep Leonard’s _demons_ well under control. The _demons_ seem to appear when he concentrates less, when he allows himself to “daydream”. I have resolved not to allow him to daydream.

I find him in the mess hall, drinking a cup of coffee. He is so tired he does not even perceive my presence through the _bond_.

I approach him and he lifts his eyes. Then – he stands up. It is a gesture of respect that he does out of his own will, no matter who is present. When he sees me, he stands up. I appreciate it. There are a lot of such gestures, some visible for everybody, some visible just for myself.

“Sit down, Leonard. How is the Captain?”

“His fever is still up. He’ll be better in a few hours. But I can’t release him for duty until tomorrow.”

“I shall go relieve Pavel and take the next shift.”

He looks at my fingers, smiling.

“I miss you.” – he says. “And I miss the melds.”

“You have also been missing 20 hours of sleep.”

“…and there aren’t chances anytime soon, I know. Not for the melds and not for sleep.”

I look around, there aren’t many people present in the mess hall. I come closer to him, turn his head towards me and I swiftly touch the meld points. I enter his mind softly and I find love and longing, desire and regret and willingness to learn and to do anything to please me. I gently disengage the meld; I lean and kiss his lips. If someone saw us, I find I do not care (I am not on duty yet, whereas Leonard - I really cannot say anymore, he is always on duty). His eyes become brighter, warmer.

“I miss you, too.” – I whisper. And I do want all of you. Even the insufferable parts. And the dark moods.”

“Um… I’ll try to be better when a dark mood comes. Do you think it would acceptable to just warn you when I’m in a bad mood?”

“I would appreciate it Leonard, although I do hope I can anticipate it.”

“You can’t. They just… appear.”

“Why?”

“I guess they’re like tantrums. They simply… are.”

“I see. And – you must do autopsies.”

“Either autopsies, or drink, or yell at you.”

“Do not yell at your Master, Leonard.”

A sudden burst of emotion flows through the _bond_. It’s the _word_ that triggers it.

“…and do not drink either.”

“Okay…so… when I tell you that I need to do autopsies, will you just… leave me be?”

“Are we setting up safewords?” – I wanted to know.

“Kind of. Although not in bed.”

“I hope so, Leonard, because _autopsy_ can be a bit discouraging. In bed.”

He started to laugh hard.

“I don’t feel the need of safewords in bed” – he says and there is a marvelous shade of red in his cheeks. “Safewords are… because I do not trust myself – and not because I do not trust you. You are not _that_ dangerous in bed, so to speak.”

“Well, wait until Ponn Farr.”

“What is Ponn Farr?”

“It is… “ – I hesitate. How do I explain Ponn Farr? “It’s my own demon. One I will not be able to fight alone.”

“Now I’m curious.”

“You should be terrified.”

“Are you going to do really bad things to me?”

“The worst things”, I say, and suddenly I am no longer amused.

“Excellent!” – he says cheerfully, and he takes my hand. “Any details, or am I going to have a surprise?”

“It is… well…”

I turn his head towards me, I wrap one arm around his neck, I pull him closer and I touch the meld points on his face again. I show him what Ponn Farr is. I feel him tense in my arms – and then, unexpectedly, he smiles.

“We make love for one week, huh?”

“Yes, Leonard, one week. And I will not be very gentle. In fact, I will not be gentle at all.”

“Can we start practicing?”

He is incorrigible.

“You are **so** cute.” – I hear our Captain’s voice, he is standing near our table. With my thoughts totally merged with Leonard’s, I did not even feel him approaching.

“Sit down, kid!” – Leonard orders him.

Perhaps he should not talk that way to our Captain. I have already disengaged the meld, but my arm is still around Leonard’s neck and he is actually cuddling closer against me.

Jim takes a seat; he is sneezing and looks pale.

“You look comfy, Bones.”

“You look horrible. What are you doing out of bed?”

“I needed to stretch myself. ‘Sides, such a beautiful view makes me feel better.”

“What are you referring to, Captain?”

“To you two being so in love. And so… cuddly!”

I was unsure whether he was ironic, and I wanted to remove my arm from around Leonard’s neck but he grabbed by wrist.

“Your arm is my prisoner, Commander, Sir.” – Leonard said.

Jim was gazing at us with warm eyes.

“I am absolutely in love with you, guys.”

Leonard and I exchange a worried look.

“Captain, are you implying – “

“With the _idea_ of you. Don’t be so literal.”

“That’s why you locked us up into the morgue? Because you’re in love with us?”

“Um, that may have been an accident. Anyways, it looks like it worked.”

Leonard smiles; I shiver when I remember the corpse on the autopsy table and the low temperature and the defective door. And Leonard on his knees.

Leonard senses my powerful emotion and lowers his eyelids for a second. It’s a very small gesture that means _I am yours_. I have learnt to read those small gestures – my happiness depends on them.

Jim chatters cheerfully and then Carol joins us, they hold hands and look genuinely happy, although struck by flu. Leonard floods them with medical recommendations. I touch his cheek with my fingertips, barely making contact with his fair skin. He is talking to Jim, but all his attention is focused on me.

I wish we could be alone right now.

“…come on, kid. I’m taking you to Sickbay and then to bed.”

He gently removes my arm from around his neck, but still holding my wrist. He looks for a second into my eyes, and then he looks at my hand – and I know that in his mind he just kissed my hand. He stands up with obvious regret and grabs Jim’s arm.

“Commander,” he says politely, but warmly, and they go.

“You’re calling him Commander??” – I hear Jim say, as they head to Sickbay.

I wonder what Leonard said.

 

*

 

I don’t feel like working. I am overwhelmed by apathy, in fact. I have this distinct feeling that AnJoan Grey is playing with me. Or, I am absolutely crazy. He treats me good; he is respectful and fair and this is not normal. Something is definitely wrong; perhaps he is doing this to earn my trust so that he can make it more painful… I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’ve done to my life and how did I get here. It seemed like only yesterday when I told Spock to reassign me to the Enterprise, so that I could be close to him and not on that stupid Farragut.

I have finished decoding a transmission and I return to the imperial quarters, it’s late. Grey is not here. I take a bath, I eat and I lower the temperature the way he likes it. I go to bed – and, surprise! I can’t sleep.

He never comes home that night.

In the morning, I am tired and depressed.

“Computer, location of AnJoan Grey.”

Why do I even care, anyways?

“His Majesty AnJoan Grey is not aboard the station.”

“Where is he?”

“Unknown.”

I leave the environment controls like that and I go to my lab; there is work assigned to me by Sial AnThoren, the Viceroy. I ignore it; I am tired, drained of energy, I feel like nothing matters anymore.

I cuddle on the couch and I pull a blanket over me; I am exhausted…

I don’t know how long have I been sleeping.

“Computer, time?”

“The Time is 612.3”

Which means, I have missed the report, I haven’t attended to my duties and I have screwed up. I am cold. Why the hell is so cold in here?

The doors of my Lab open and AnJoan Grey enters.

“What are you doing, Nyota?” – he asks and comes near me.

“Leave me alone.”

“Certainly not.”

“Alright then. Call security to throw me in the brig.”

“What for?”

“I haven’t done my job, I have missed the report, insubordination, you know, I’m good at it.”

“So it seems.”

He puts his hand on my forehead and dizziness overwhelms me.

“You are burning.”

“I hate Leonard McCoy”, I mumble.

“What?”

“You don’t even like me. All you care about is Leonardleonard.”

“You are delirious.”

I feel his strong hands lifting me as if I was a doll and he takes me to the imperial apartment. He seems surprised to perceive the low temperature.

“Did you sleep in 5 degrees Celsius last night?”

“Of course I did, but you never came home, you were with Leonard!”

“If I were with Leonard, woman, I would be dead now! At the hands of his Vulcan. I had a mission to attend to.”

“That’s what you all say. Anyways I don’t care!”

“I see.”

He deposes me on the bed and he scans me with the medical tricorder.

“Your body temperature is 40.3 centigrade. Is this normal?”

“It’s perfectly normal. In fact I am freezing.”

“I don’t understand anything. Computer, location of the USS Enterprise.”

“The USS Enterprise is currently in sector 44.2.”

“Establish communication with Commander Spock.”


	9. Leonard. AnJoan Grey. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are calling me Master quite often lately.
> 
> Is that wrong?
> 
> As it reflects the reality, no, it is not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... I get 200 readings per day, but almost everybody is silent. Have I upset anyone? Tosaigh ag caint!

After tonight, I am quite sure that Spock was indeed serious about that Ponn Farr thing. We made love for full eight hours, from the moment we entered our quarters and until the Computer announced that there were 15 more minutes until the Alpha Shift. He wanted complete control, as always when he’s in an overly possessive mood. I didn’t mind. Whenever the time passed – I did not notice, and neither did he. At one moment I remember having asked him if we were practicing for Ponn Farr, to which he said _affirmative_ and the rest is a nebula of bliss.

“We must. Get ready. For shift.” – he said, biting my neck after each word.

“Already?”

“Mmmyes.”

“Wow...”

“Was that a compliment?”

“It sure was.” – I say and I try to get up but he holds me firmly. “You are going to be late.”

“I know.” – he said and did not seem to have any intention of stopping. I didn’t mind.

But he finally did stop, and we went to shower and to get dressed.

I loved watching him do all the small things: pulling his blue shirt over his head; combing his hair; checking his duties on the padd; picking up my books from the floor and deposing them on the table.

“Are you tired?” – he asked me on our way to the Bridge.

“I am”, I admit. No lying to Spock. “I wish we didn’t have to go to the Bridge.”

“For once, I must agree with you.”

“Don’t agree with me, Spock, it scares me.”

I feel his amusement through the _bond_. He is happy; I am living a dream.

“Eight hours, wow”, I mumble.

“Is there a problem?”

“You bet your pointy ears there’s a problem!”

“And what would that be?”

“They've ended, those eight hours. And what are you laughing at?”

“Vulcans do not laugh.”

“Sure they don’t. Suuure. Smug Vulcan.”

We arrive on the Bridge, he listens to Chekov’s report – that kid is dead tired.

“…and his Majesty AnJoan Grey called twice.”

His eyes darken, a shadow passes through our _bond_.

“Did he leave a message?”

“He will call again in one hour.”

“Why did you not announce me immediately?”

“I didn’t want.”

“Pardon?”

“…to disturb you.”

“We shall talk about this. Now go to sleep.”

“Okey.”

“I did not hear you?”

“Yes, Kommender.”

As Chekov leaves and Spock sits on the commanding chair, I come near him.

“What was that about?”

“Unclear. AnJoan Grey called twice.”

“So I’ve heard” – and the thought of him makes my skin crawl. “I should go check on Jim.”

“Very well.”

“See you in a bit, Commander.” – I say, and I feel his pleasure through the _bond_. He likes etiquette and strict rules during our duty hours and I try to be better at following them.

Jim’s quarters were such a mess, oh wow.

“Kid, wake up.”

“Not now, Carol, I’m tired.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Oh. Bones. Is it morning already?”

I start scanning him and injecting hyposprays into his neck.

“You’re still weak, Jim. Didn't you eat anything?”

“No, mom.”

“Bad, very bad! Come on, up and go wash. I’ll get you some sandwiches.”

“I don’t want any sandwiches!”

I roll my eyes, this is one spoiled Captain.

“Too bad, because you’re going to eat them anyways.”

I align a few hyposprays on the couch, which Jim eyes cautiously when he returns.

“What are those for?”

“For you, in case you don’t eat.”

“Bones, you have become very dangerous.”

“Eat!”

“Fine, fine, wow. That’s the way you’re talking to Spock too?”

“Nope.”

“I thought as much.”

Jim is eating, which is reassuring.

“You look content, what did he do to you?”

“It’s classified.” – I tell him.

“Then I will only have to imagine. Bones?”

“M?”

“You look really happy.”

“I am. I have never been this happy in my whole life. I also look very busy. So get back to bed. I must return to the Bridge.”

“When can I return to duty, Bones? I am going mad here.”

“Tomorrow, beta shift, light duty. But only if you listen to me!”

“Yeees, mom.”

I refrain from rolling my eyes again and I return to the bridge, just in time to hear Sulu:

“Incoming priority one message from the Reman Space Station.”

“On screen, Mr. Sulu.” – Spock says.

I decide to remain close to the turbolift doors for the moment and I dread seeing the Chief Reptile.

The image of the Reman Emperor has given me endless nightmares and I am pretty sure I will have them next time I get to sleep.

Spock stands up, which annoys me. Grey is the one who should stand up, not the other way around.

“Your Majesty.”

“Commander Spock. I am calling to ask for your permission to speak to Leonard.”

I feel Spock tense.

“What for?”

Please, say no.

“The woman you sent me, Uhura, is very sick. I wish to know what kind of treatment would be appropriate.“

I feel Spock struggling to give an appropriate, logical response. I go near him and I wait for his permission. Spock looks straight into my eyes. He lowers his eyelids, nodding almost imperceptibly.

I bow my head in acknowledgement – a gesture that makes things perfectly clear for the Reman. Whatever I am about to do, I will do because my master wishes it.

“Hello, Leonard.”

“Send me tricorder readings. Sulu, redirect them to Commander Spock’s console.”

I can’t help but talking to Grey in an ever so hostile tone. I don’t like him, I don’t trust him and to be honest – I am not crazy about Uhura either. But Spock cared for her, and he wants me to help her, and whatever he wants – I’ll do.

Data flows to Spock’s console and I only need one minute to analyze them.

“You need to prepare a hypospray with the following substance – I am sending you the formula right now. Check her temperature every hour and give her lots of liquids. She is severely dehydrated. Don’t you have a doctor there?”

“No, Leonard. I would not have called you otherwise. I could dispatch one from Romulus but the have little knowledge about humans.”

“Check in again in one hour with full readings.”

I am unsure, though, as to how we’ll communicate. I turn towards Spock:

“Is it okay if he contacts Sickbay directly?”

“Negative. You will contact me first, and I shall patch you through to Leonard.”

“I will do so”, Grey says, and I am not exactly sure which of them is actually the Emperor. The last thing I want to hear is Grey ordering Spock around. Damn reptile better know his place.

I hate the current situation and I am rather upset. I need to concentrate and not to say something stupid. Focus, McCoy, dammit.

“Thank you for allowing me to talk to Leonard.” – Grey says.

“You are welcome. I am glad we understand each other” – Spock says, and I could almost hear the _Leonard is mine and you will not touch him_ / _talk to him without my permission_ subtext.

With the Reptile finally out of the view-screen, I turn towards Spock.

“I don’t feel well. I’ll be in the morgue. Will you please let me know when he checks-in?”

_Leonard. Why are you not feeling well?_

_That devil just triggered some demons inside of me. I need to work for a bit. Please do not be upset._

_You will talk to me through the telepathic link._

I wasn't particularly good at that.

_Yes, Master._

I bow my eyes to his hand.

“Very well, Doctor. I will let you know as soon as the Emperor calls back.”

I go to the morgue and I pull out a body for an autopsy. Strange hobbies I have.

_Leonard?_

_Yes?_

_What are you doing?_

_A dissection._

_You are in distress._

_That, I am._

_I have new readings from Grey._

_Shall I come to the Bridge, or do you wish to come here, Master?_

_I am already on my way._

_Okay._

_You are calling me Master quite often lately._

_Is that wrong?_

_As it reflects the reality, no, it is not._

_Do you like it?_

“Very much.” – he says, entering the Lab, and my heart nearly jumps off my chest. He holds the padd in front of my eyes so that I can see it, because my hands are busy with dissection tools.

“She still has a high fever. Transmit him to give her another dose of antibiotic and to keep her in a low temperature environment. “

Spock transmitted the information and looked at the padd for a while. He frowned.

“What is it?”

“He wishes to speak to you again. I will patch it through your console here.”

I covered the corpse I was working on and I washed my hands. Grey’s face appeared on the console.

“You wanted to speak to me.” – I told Grey.

“Leonard. She is not getting better.”

“She will, if you do as I say.”

“I do not want to lose her.”

I am not sure I want to know any details.

“Look. Just follow my instructions and if she talks any nonsense, tell me.”

“She does already.”

“Do you have the impression she is also hallucinating?”

“I am not sure.

“Keep us informed. End transmission.” – and I actually cut him off.

“That may have been somehow abrupt.” – Spock stated.

“I don’t care much.”

“Leonard!”

“Spock! I really don’t care much. The feelings of Mr. Grey are not my preoccupation.”

He comes close to me and runs his fingers through my hair. I gaze at him with worried eyes.

“Are you upset?”

“Do I look upset?”

“You look beautiful.”

He gives me a faint smile and kisses my lips softly and my heart melts.

*

I have never felt so sick in my entire life. I feel the soft needles of a hypospray being pressed against my neck and I nearly jump out of bed. I feel two firm hands pushing me back.

“I hate you.” – I tell him.

He does not say anything. Instead, he covers me with a blanket.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Do you know who I am?” – he asks me.

“You are Leonard McCoy!”

“I am not. I am AnJoan Grey.”

“You lie! Liar!!!”

I must get out of here. He holds me still, his cold arms around me.

“Let me go!!!”

“Stop struggling, you will hurt yourself.”

“What do you care?”

“I care.”

I start crying convulsively for a long, long time. I wrap my arms around his neck and I hold him tight.

“Please, don’t leave me.”

The world started to darken.

*

“Commander Spock.”

“Your Majesty.”

“I have a request.”

“Yes?”

“Please, send Leonard to me. Before you say _I will not_ , note that I will do anything you require. She is unresponsive and I think she will die. You cared for this woman and you are partially responsible for what is going on. So – please. Nothing bad will happen to him. Come together if you wish.”

My soul froze. What if Spock agreed?

He remained silent for a while and even the _bond_ was frozen. I could feel nothing from him. I came closer to him, waiting for him to make a decision.

He looks at me.

“Leonard.”

_Master?_

“I am not asking you to go. The choice is yours.”

I really, really wished he hadn't said that. Choosing was extremely difficult in the current situation. But I knew Grey was right about Nyota’s condition and he was also right about us being partially responsible. I was a Doctor and all life was precious and dear to me – especially the life of a woman for whose unhappiness I was to blame.

I said nothing, looking down. I felt the need to gather and preserve all my energy as if soon I would run out. I looked at Grey, who was waiting for an answer; then, at Spock.

“I’ll get my bag and go to shuttle bay. Be there in 3 hours. End transmission.”

With that, I left the Bridge.

*

Spock comes with me to the shuttle bay. He runs a thorough diagnostic of all systems and only then he allows me to get in.

We are both rather speechless. I am angry and stressed. I take both his hands and hold them tight for a few moments, looking into his beautiful eyes. I kiss them with all my love and all the other feelings I do not know how to express. He pulls me in his arms in a fierce, desperate embrace. He kisses my forehead.

I start the engines and I leave.


	10. AnJoan Grey. Spock

Leonard is with her. He requested that I leave the room, so that he can assess her condition – and I have done so. He is the same proud, beautiful being that I love deeply – only now he is stronger, his eyes are brighter, sharp and powerful and I can’t understand how someone can have his submission, even if that person is Spock of Vulcan. He is the embodiment of strength and determination – it is obvious in the way he walks, in the way he talks, in the way he deals with a crisis.

I can tell he is in distress. He is far from the one he should not be separated from, and he fears me. I keep my distance. I am aware that Spock will want to know if I touched him or done anything else to him. Although I have deep feelings for him, they are not – and they never were – of a sexual nature. I desire his mind, his heart; his friendship. But I know I will never have any of them. I will always be the one who did him harm. He is unable to forgive.

He comes out of my apartment.

“Come on in.”

I follow him. Nyota is resting in my bed; she is less agitated and her breathing is almost normal.

“You did well that you called me. Her fever would have consumed her. She was hours away from death. When is the last time she ate?”

“2205.3 cycles ago.”

“In English, please?”

He already looks annoyed.

“Oh, forgive me. The computer indicates she replicated some fruit yesterday morning.”

“I see. Are you two together?”

“What? No, Leonard.”

“You sure about that? Because she called your name a lot.”

I say nothing but my heart-rate accelerates. I take a deep breath.

“Calm down. You love her, don’t you?”

“Hopelessly, Leonard. I am a monster. Who could ever love someone like me? Could you?”

“Nonsense. I could not, but that is simply love someone else. There is nothing wrong with you. You are merely a being from another race.”

 “You are kind, Leonard, which is unusual. Should I be terrified?”

“Maybe. Now listen. Replicate these items – fruit, black chocolate and pure water. Take this hypospray and inject it to her neck. She will wake up. Make sure she eats everything.”

“Shouldn’t you be doing this?”

“Listen, she hates me. Just go. Trust me a little. I’m a doctor. Where can I rest?”

“My Viceroy will take you to the Ambassadorial Quarters.”

“Now now, you exaggerate.”

“Believe me, I do not. Your Master threatened me with the most unimaginable tortures, should something happen to you.”

“He did that, huh?”

 

I went to Nyota and I woke her up.

She was confused at first, but her eyes seemed to shine almost normally.

“Nyota. How are you feeling?”

“Tired… what happened?”

“You went into shock. You must eat.”

“I am not hungry.”

“Nyota…”

“Leave me alone!”

I felt fury, pure fury. Was there nothing that could tame this woman’s temper?

I stood up, feeling the need to hit something.

“AnJoan…”

I turned towards her.

“Please, I’m sorry. I will eat.”

“ **Do** so.”

I left the room. I did not want to say something I would regret.

*

The Captain has returned to the Bridge. He is finally feeling better. He was surprised that I allowed Leonard to go and I had to explain the whole thing several times. He required me to rest. I went to our quarters and as soon as I entered I got struck by the overwhelming emptiness. Leonard’s things; his blue shirt left on the floor, smelling like him; his unfinished cup of coffee; an open treatise on our bed. The feeling is almost unbearable. I lay on the bed and I softly caress the pages of the book which he touched a short while ago. To say that I miss him would be an understatement. I simply feel I suffocate. There is no life without my Leonard; Leonard **is** my life.

I know he is in no danger, the _bond_ is stable and strong, even if silent. I refrain from communicating because I would only add to the pressure he already experiences.

I close his book and I hold it to my chest – and everything inside me is an open wound.

*

When I return to the imperial quarters, she has eaten everything I left on her tray, she has washed herself and changed clothes.

“I see you are feeling better.” – I said.

“Yes”, she said. “Listen, I would like to go to my lab and finish the work I have abandoned before getting sick.”

“You will finish it tomorrow. I won’t assign you any more work until you get better.”

“I really feel bad about not having finished – “

“Go – back – to bed.” – my fury rebuilding.

“Okay… okay… fine… really now…”

I go to her, I take her hand and I remove the Klessar bracelet from around her wrist with a sudden gesture.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I am tired of this and I can’t go on this way.”

“AnJoan – “

“You will not address me as such. Good night.”

I am so angry that I can’t think right. I’d better go to Leonard and talk to him.

I find him on the couch, gazing at the console, his eyes red.

“Wow, what happened to you? You look as if you were hit by a train.” – he tells me on his usual grumpy tone.

“A train?”

“You know… big locomotive… with wagons… nevermind, what the hell happened?”

“I’ve had enough of that woman. You will take her back to the Enterprise.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint you but I am not in command of the Enterprise. Did she eat?”

“Yes.”

“So what happened?”

“She talks back, she is rude, ungrateful, violent, arrogant…”

“An impressive character study. But believe me, she’s also loving, intelligent, funny, hard-working…not to mention gorgeous.”

“I did not see those qualities. Except the last one on your list.”

“What’s that in your hand?”

“This bracelet – is called the Klessar. We offer it to the woman we court.”

“So that’s it, you give up?”

“I do.”

“You’re insane. How exactly did you court her?”

I did not know what to say.

“Well? I’m listening.”

“I do not know, Leonard. I have treated her correctly.”

“Have you?”

He gets up from the couch, he comes to me, he takes the bracelet from my hand and puts it in my pocket.

“Make sure you give this back to her.”

“Why are your eyes red, Leonard?” – I ask.

“You are changing the subject. My eyes are read because I miss Spock. It’s the first time we are being separated. It is very difficult.”

“Didn’t you talk to him?”

“No, I don’t know how to initiate subspace calls and I don’t have access to your computer anyways.”

I punched the commands for a priority one call to Commander Spock of the _USS Enterprise_ and I left.

*

“Incoming transmission from the Reman Space station.”

I literally jumped out of the bed and went to the console. There he was – my beloved Leonard’s beautiful face.

“Leonard…”

“Spock.”

We look at each other, incapable of saying anything for a few moments.

“What are you reading?” – he asks me, and I realize I still have his book at my chest.

“It is, um, _Concise Review of Critical Care, Trauma and Emergency Medicine: A Quick Reference Guide of ICU_.”

“You’re reading my book… ” Leonard says. His eyes are red.

“Have you been crying?” – I ask him.

“Yes.”

“I will punish you.”

“I can’t wait. ‘Sides, you don’t seem to be yourself either.”

“I am not myself, Leonard. You are not near me.”

“I’ll try to be back soon. She’s out of danger. Grey is a bit crazy, though.”

“Has he done anything…?”

“No, nono. He’s fine. He’s in love with her.”

My eyes widen in surprise.

“Leonard…”

“Master?” – he whispers and my soul twists painfully.

“I love you.”

He touches the console with his fingers and I do the same.

“I love you, too.” – he says, and I see his eyes filling with tears. “Good night.”


	11. Nyota. Jim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Shut up, Spock.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The text messages in this Chapter are dedicated to my dear Friend, Vidhi, she knows why.

I am alone in the imperial apartment and my shift starts in 52.3 cycles. I get dressed and go outside – my guards are no longer there. Strange. Anyways. Maybe they got bored of following me around.

I go to my lab, there is no new work assigned to me; I sit down and I finish what I had previously abandoned.

I write a detailed note of what I have worked on and I send one copy to the Viceroy and one to the Emperor. My wrist feels… empty without the heavy bracelet.

There is a station-wide announcement that the Report is canceled today due to the fact that the Emperor is busy. The Viceroy comes by my Lab later that evening, with a tray on which there are several hyposprays.

“Lady, the Emperor advised you inject yourself with these.”

“These are… Federation hyposprays, where does he have them from?”

“I do not have this information, Lady. Now please proceed.”

I did not want to cause any more problems, so I complied. I did feel better and whatever treatment had been given to me while I was struck by fever, it surely worked.

“Sial, where is the Emperor now?”

“His Majesty is busy at the moment.”

“I see. Did he leave any instructions for me?”

“None that I am aware of.”

“Oh. Okay. I see that the guards are no longer following me around.”

“They are not necessary anymore, since you no longer wear the Klessar.”

“So… now it’s like… he got tired of me, or what?”

“I sure hope so.” – Sial said on a sharp tone and my heart dropped.

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to return to the imperial quarters or not. But since no one informed me otherwise, I supposed that I hadn’t been assigned other quarters, so in the evening I returned there.

AnJoan Grey was there and I felt a sudden burst of emotion, which took me by surprise.

“Your Majesty”, I said.

He lifts his head and looks at me, his eyes cold.

“You started to learn some manners, I see. What a pity you are such a slow learner.”

I deserved that. I go to him.

“May I talk to you?”

“Sit.” – he orders, and I take a seat on the couch near him.

I gaze at him for a while. I know his face well; I know his smell, the way his skin feels, humid and cold; I know the tonalities of his voice.

I cautiously put my hand over his – it is such a difference – my brown velvet delicate hand over his own – pale, with long, yellowish, sharp claws that he undoubtedly used as weapons many times.

“Disgusting, isn’t it?” – he says.

“What? – I ask, startled.

“I may not be a telepath, Nyota, but I am not blind. I know that what you see in me is a monster and what you feel for me is mere disgust.”

I come closer to him, wrapping my hands around his left arm.

“AnJ- Your _Majesty_ , I am sorry for the way I have treated you. You are not at all a repulsive monster.”

“How interesting, so what am I?” – he says in an obviously mocking tone.

His words hurt me terribly. It seems that we can’t make any progress at all. I let go of his arm and I stand up, with the intention to go to the bathroom and just cry.

“Nyota. Come back here.”

I resist the urge to give in to my proud nature and I return.

He grabs my wrist with a sudden gesture and pulls me in his arms. A turmoil of fear and other strong feelings split my soul in two.

He caresses my hair, gently, looking into my eyes, observing my every reaction; then my face – his hand is cold and a bit humid. I cautiously touch the X symbol on his chest, then his neck, his face, with very slow gestures. I wrap one arm around his neck, I raise my head and I kiss him tenderly on his lips.

He does not react at all.

But he does not reject me either.

I kiss him, slowly, a few more times. Finally, he responds, with care – I would have never thought that this being was capable of so much tenderness. Tears start falling from my eyes and in a few seconds I am crying uncontrollably.

I feel his arms around me, holding me tight as he allows me to cry.

“Please, give me the bracelet back.”

“In time.”

I feel uncertainty, I think that maybe he has changed his mind about me – about us – and it is killing me.

“Please, no more”, I whisper. “I can’t endure all this much longer. It hurts.”

“It always hurts to let the pride go.”

I nod – he is right.

He pushes me gently away from around his neck so that he can look at my face.

“First” – he says – “I need to see if your intentions are serious.”

He has every right to demand this of me.

He takes me to bed and lowers the temperature.

“You need to rest. We have time to talk about this tomorrow.” – he tells me.

When the lights dim, I look at his silhouette and my heart aches strongly. I can still feel his lips over mine; and I feel for the first time in my life – that my place is **here** , near this being.

*

“Spock. Spock? Commander Spock?”

He finally turns his head towards me. His eyes are completely black.

“Yes, Captain.”

This is not good. I was looking at a Vulcan that was torn by unimaginable inner pain. My First Officer and Friend was suffering.

“Chekov, you have the Conn.” – I say, and I take Spock’s arm, dragging him into the turbolift.

He tries to pull free from my grip but I only hold him tighter, fully aware that I am annoying him.

“Captain, what are you doing?”

“Shut up, Spock.”

That surely got his attention.

I take him to the mess hall, tell him to sit down and I bring two mugs of Vulcan tea.

“You haven’t eaten in 48 hours, I am positive you haven’t slept and you look exhausted. Now you do realize that Bones is likely to murder me if I left you in this state.”

“That is a possibility” – he admits with a faint smile.

“Now, you’ll drink this tea, then we’ll eat something, then you’ll rest. And then we’ll play chess or go to the holodeck and climb a mountain. Those are your Doctor’s orders.”

His eyes brighten:

“Have you spoken with Leonard?”

“He sent a message.”

“May I see it?? Please?? ”

Oh man. These two are going to be the death of me.

“After you eat.”

“Captain, you are blackmailing me.”

“Of course I am.”

“Very well. I will go get a soup. What do you wish to eat, Captain?”

“Three hamburgers. But don’t tell Bones.”

He lifts an eyebrow and I feel some of the heaviness lifting.

After he starts eating, I can’t resist and I show him my padd.

Bones had sent the following text to me:

_“Get Spock to lunch. Now. Then sleep + chess. Take care of him or I’ll do very bad things to you.”_

If his name hadn’t been Spock, I am sure he would have kissed the padd.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

“Dearly.”

“I miss him too.”

“Captain…” – he says warningly.

“I was joking. I don’t miss him at all. I am glad he left.”

He gives me an almost deadly glare.

I smile.

“Boy you are hard to please. How does _he_ manage?”

“ _He_ is very talented.”

Now, that makes me imagine all sorts of things.

“Why don’t you guys communicate? You know, telepathically? You can do that, right?”

“Leonard is not particularly fond of this activity. I do not wish to add more stress to whatever he already experiences. Plus, we are rather far.”

“What about messages? Via communicator?”

“About that… it is I who is not good at.”

“You are difficult people.”

“I know.”

“Spock, you don’t share a _bond_ with me, but I can feel your pain from over here. What can I do to help?”

“There is nothing to be done, Captain. I must – I mean, he – “

He is unable to continue.

“Oh, man.”

When he goes to get more tea, I text Bones: _“Dragged him away from Bridge. He ate. Looks depressed. Come back soon. Instructions?”_ The answer comes back almost immediately: _“Keep a close eye on Him!”_  

Wow, with Capital “H”.

*

I can’t sleep. I can feel that he is not sleeping either. I remove my hand from the thermal blanket and I touch his arm, caressing it slowly.

“What do you want?” – he asks on a harsh tone that intimidates me.

I try to control the instinctive fear and I go closer to him.

“Well?” – he asks.

“I want one more kiss”, I whisper.

He suddenly rolls over me, takes my head into his hands and kisses my lips – and to that kiss I respond with all the love I can no longer control.

Minutes? Hours? – just pass.

He continued to kiss me with more and more passion and violence, he could not have enough of me, and neither could I; my reason was simply darkening, all I could see was him, all I could feel was him, all I ever wanted was him – and he was there.

“I love you”, I whispered, between the kisses. I love you. I love you. I want you.”

He stopped, looking into my eyes, almost not breathing.

I slid my hands under his black t-shirt, caressing his cold skin.

“You want – to – “ – he whispered, unsure.

“Yes, yes.”

“This is unheard of.”

He tore my night cloth with a single sudden move and we made love for hours, violently, then tenderly, getting used to each other and each moment lasted for ever.

“Nyota…”

I smile at him – he smiles back and my heart overflows with love.

“I have to tell you something.”

I start to worry.

“Is it something bad? You don’t… love me too?”

He takes me in his arms and kisses my hair and my eyes.

“How can you even think that? I have loved you from the first moment.”

“Then what is it?”

“Leonard is here.”

I nearly jump out of the bed.

“What?? Why??

He grabs my wrist and pulls me back in his arms.

“I have called him here when you nearly died.”

Shivers of horror cross my body.

“I will take him back to the Enterprise today, but I want him to see you before he leaves.”

“No.”

He rolls over me and looks at me with sharp eyes.

“I love you so much, Nyota Uhura, that I can’t express it – but I am still your Emperor and you will do as I say. Do not ruin this beautiful moment by being stubborn.”

“I love you as much as you love me, AnJoan Grey, Your Majesty, but I will not see Leonard. Each person has limits, boundaries. He is that for me. Please do not ask this of me. Please. It is all I ask. No Leonard and no Spock. I never want to see those two again, nor do I want to hear their name.”

He thought about it for a while.

“Very well. Get dressed and go to your Lab. I will be gone for the day. I will return tonight.”

I smile and I kiss his lips a few more times.

“Thank you for understanding me.”

He reaches after his pelerine and takes something from the pocket. I smile when I see the Klessar bracelet and he puts it at my wrist. He kisses my hand and I gaze at him with all my love. He may be a monster but he is the most beautiful being I have ever seen.

“Your guards are reinstated and they are waiting for you outside” – he says.

With that, he gets dressed and he leaves.

I try to fight back the horrible feeling – he is going to meet Leonard McCoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome Uhura picture is from Tumblr.


	12. Leonard. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Belonging to another being is not about sex and not about abuse. It is about how much I can give and about how he can take care of what I give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Warning! Warning!  
> Angst - or that thing which happens when things get worse before getting awesome.
> 
> Later Edit:  
> My dear Readers, please do understand that action IS necessary. No one is harming the characters and no one is going to die (not even temporary.) While I do find the messages on Facebook flattering, they are also intimidating! I promise to make up by writing a 3rd part with no action whatsoever, and only emotion being built.   
> But please, do not threaten to do various things to me if i hurt Leonard. I will not hurt Leonard.  
> What have we been smoking, anyways?

 The doors of the ambassadorial quarters open and AnJoan Grey comes in.

“Leonard.”

“Yeah?”

“She refuses to see you and I do not want to force her.”

“As you wish. Did you have a beautiful night?”

“The most beauty-… wait, how do you even know that?”

“Oh, please. I’m a doctor, I can tell these things.”

“I’m impressed.”

“’Sides, you have a nasty bite on your neck.”

If Remans can blush, I swear he just did. I go to him and I apply a healing agent.

“Tell her not to bite you anymore. You have a sensitive skin.”

He smiles.

“So now what, you gonna marry her?”

“If she accepts, yes.”

“And she’s gonna be, like, a queen?”

“Yes.”

“God help us.”

“Leonard, tell your Master I will bring you home. Send him a message.”

“I know how to fly a shuttle, thanks.”

“There are Jem’ Haddar patrols lurking. I will not let you go alone. Should something happen to you…”

“He’d kill you, yeah. Okay. Give me a minute to get my things in order and I’ll meet you in the docking ring.”

I take my communicator and I type:

_“Master, I am on my way home. ETA 18:50. AJG insists in bringing me back himself.”_

The answer comes back shortly:

_“Very well, my Beloved. I will wait for you. I appreciate that AJG keeps his word.”_

I kiss the communicator. Did he just call me “my Beloved”?

I get out of the ambassadorial quarters, heading to the shuttle bay – and as I turn left on the corridor, I find myself face-to-face with Nyota Uhura.

 

*

 

I have been running diagnostic after diagnostic in engineering, with Scott and Pavel, and we still cannot identify the location of coolant leak that has temporarily damaged our Warp core. We are working hard, while the Captain is using his charm and diplomatic abilities to explain our delay to the conference we were due 3 hours ago.

Working in Engineering is a balm for my soul at the present moment. I have fond memories of this place. Here, Leonard and I came to terms with our relationship for the first time; here he knelt in front of me for the first time. Here I became aware of the depth of my love for him.

I miss him. It is a deep human emotion – that I cannot control, neither can I escape from it. I miss him so much, that even my stomach hurts.

I press my hand over it.

“Father?” – Pavel says – he rarely calls me that. “Yu feel sick.”

“I do.”

“Go Sickbay? We manage for ten minits.”

“Do not worry, Pavel. Only Leonard can help me, and that is, unfortunately, not possible at the moment.”

“You miss him much.” – the young man says and I feel his compassion and care through our parental _bond_.

“Much.” – I admit.

“I know iz not ze same, Kommander but – I love you.”

He surely knows how to make me feel better.

I touch his face with my fingers, swiftly, initiating a light meld, enough to send warm thoughts of love and gratitude.

He blushes and he is – adorable.

“By the way, Pavel, we do need to have a talk soon.”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Iz… will be bad?”

“Very bad.”

He blushes even more violently and Keenser decides to “save” him by dragging him away from me.

I resolve to understand who/what Keenser is – at some point.

My communicator vibrates and I flip it open:

_“Master, I am on my way home. ETA 18:50. AJG insists in bringing me back himself.”_

My heart-rate accelerates and I need to sit down. For a Vulcan, I am doing a very bad job at controlling my emotions.

Leonard has been calling me “Master” nearly all the time in the last couple of days. I have never asked this of him – and I know it is a result of our bond growing stronger and deeper. If his submission to me had been an obligation sometime at the beginning, now it has become an organic part of him – and of me. He feels the need to show it, to express it, to give me everything –

I would have never dreamt.

 _“I love you”_ – I type, but then I delete the words. It is not the moment to be sentimental. _“Very well, my Beloved. I will wait for you. I appreciate that AJG keeps his word.”_

Shortly after, I feel a strong burst of fury through the _bond_ and I wonder what happened.

 _Leonard?_ – my soul asks.

But there is no response.

 

*

 

“I was hoping to avoid seeing the devil in person.” – she says.

What I feel could be described as fury in its pure form.

“Thank you, Lieutenant. You are very nice too.”

“You’re leaving, right?”

“I was on my way to the shuttle.”

“I hope it explodes on your way back.”

“That would be highly unfortunate, as your lover is piloting it. Or do you want him dead as well?”

“The only one I wish to see dead is you, McCoy.”

“Why do you hate me so? What the hell did I do to you?”

“How dare you – “

“That is enough!” – I hear AnJoan Grey’s voice. Leonard, get to your shuttle, I will be there momentarily.

I did not wait for a second invitation and I left them sort their problems. If this guy could be bossy, now was the time.

 

I sat down on at the navigation console. The _bond_ was pulsating painfully and I felt Spock’s worry – he must have perceived my sudden burst of anger.

 _“Ran into Nyota. Unpleasant. All okay.” –_ I type on my communicator.

I feel his fury from this distance as he reads my message. I decide to send another:

_“Please do not be upset. What do you wish to do when I get home?”_

_“Meld.”_ , the answer comes back almost immediately.

And I can’t wait to get home.

Grey comes into the shuttle and starts the engines. He takes the piloting station.

“Seat-belt, please” – he requires of me, and I comply.

“You look angry”.

“I am”, he answers.

“Well, I guess that was unavoidable.”

“I specifically told the Computer to avoid this.”

I start laughing.

“Bad, bad Computer.”

“I presume you informed your Master.”

“Of course I did. He sensed my anger. He wanted to know what had happened. But don’t worry, he does not hold a grudge.”

“How can he sense your anger from this distance, Leonard? I thought he was a touch telepath.”

“Through the _bond_.”

“What is a _bond_?”

“You don’t know what a Vulcan _bond_ is?”

“I heard about them, but I don’t know what they are.”

“It’s, um… like a ribbon connecting my mind to his.”

“Wow, Leonard, you are the death of poetry.”

I laugh.

“You may be right about that.”

“You love him, don’t you, Leonard?”

“You already know that I do. And I don’t just **love** him… it’s more complicated than that. I worship him. He is everything to me.”

We were on our way to Enterprise. I could hardly wait.

“Why him?”

“Why do I love him? Is that your question?”

“How did it happen to love him, of all people? Why didn’t you love your Captain Kirk, for example?”

“I love Kirk.”

“But it’s not the same.”

“No, of course not. Why him, huh? Who knows. Who knows why we actually love a being and not another one… I loved him from the first moment. It was love at first sight.”

“That is very rare. And when did you first see him?”

“Oh, that’s an interesting story.” I smile as I remember. “My Captain Kirk had cheated at a test that had been programmed by Spock. In the general assembly, Kirk confronted Spock. That’s when I saw him for the first time.”

“What did you feel?”

“That my soul was suddenly on fire.”

“Did you go and talk to him?”

“No. It was a little before Nero incident. You heard about that?”

“It’s common knowledge. Nero was a particularly troubled individual. A shame to the Romulan Empire.”

“You are quite fond of Romulans.”

“I assure you, I am not. They are untamed beasts. However I value peace, and I intend to keep it. Also, I intend to take Romulus from their Praetor at some point.”

“You wish to rule over Romulus? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

“I will explain, but I am rather sure I am wasting my time – you have no taste for politics.”

“I have no brains for politics, so don’t explain.”

“You never read politics?”

“One does not become an exceptional doctor by reading politic news feeds.”

“You are the embodiment of modesty, dear Leonard.”

I smile.

We were both silent for a while.

“I was hoping, Leonard, that we could be friends after all.”

“Maybe we could. Forgive me for still being circumspect.”

“It’s understandable. As for earlier on, Nyota will apologize.”

“Nah, leave her be.”

 

*

 

“Any luck?” – the Captain wants to know.

“We found ze leak, Keptin, but ze damage iz substantial. We need time to repair.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“It was Keenser,” I say. “While climbing on conduits, he detected the elevated temperature in one of the junctions. That is how we discovered.”

“Good job, Mr. Keenser!” – the Captain says to the green creature – who doesn’t say a word back (does he even have vocal chords?)

I cannot withstand the distance between me and Leonard much longer. I need to sit down, I look around, I feel dizzy. This is not very Vulcan of me. I feel a firm hand grabbing my arm and taking me to a chair.

“Pavel?”

“I am here, Father.”

“Check with Leonard – how much longer.”

I see him typing on his communicator and almost instantly receiving an answer back.

“He said two hours 45 minits. Iz going to pass qwickly.”

While it was a scientific fact that time passed with the exact speed of 60 seconds per minute, right now every second seemed to just drag.

 

*

 

“What is it, Leonard?” – he asks me, as I type onto my communicator.

“Spock is not feeling well. The distance is affecting him.”

“I am sorry. We are travelling at maximum speed. Is it affecting you as well?”

“Not in the same manner. He is physically ill. Vulcans are more sensitive…”

“I feel responsible. I should not have asked you to come.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I had to come and you did good.”

I continue typing instructions to Chekov.

“Nyota has treated you badly. And after all that, you still came to help her.”

“Hey I’m a doctor. That’s what I do.”

“I’ve also treated you badly and you helped me as well.”

“Story of my life.”

“Is there anyone who treats you well?”

“Spock.”

“He seems rather… harsh at times.”

“He’s my Master, of course he’s harsh.”

“Do all human beings have a Master – or someone who submits to them? Is this the normal way of establishing relationships between Terrans?

“Nope.”

“Clarify, please.”

“It’s not, it’s a Vulcan thing, we share a particular type of _bond_. I simply belong to him. You noticed that from the first time you talked to me on the Enterprise. I always wondered how you knew.”

“It was written all over your face. Is it difficult?”

“Sometimes. People are judgmental and we try to keep things private. This type of relationship is seen as a sickness among Terrans – you know, they think it involves various disturbing sexual practices and abuses. I am not his sex-toy.”

“Your relationship is not at all sexual?”

“It is, but then we just make love like normal people do. The fact that he is my master is much above the derisory issue of sex. Belonging to another being is not about sex and certainly not about abuse. It is about how much I can give and about how he can take care of what I give.”

“Does he succeed in taking care of what you are giving?”

“Every minute.”

“Then – no wonder you gave him your heart.”

“I gave him much more than my heart, I gave him my life.”

“To do what with it?”

“Whatever he pleases.”

“He is one lucky bastard.”

“Hey, I heard what you said. Wait, I need to respond to a message.”

 

*

 

Chekov presses a hypospray onto my neck.

“What are you doing, Pavel?” – I complain.

“Following Doktor’s orders.”

“Leonard wrote to you?”

“Yes, iz texting me instructions.”

I reach out my hand towards his communicator. If there are letters that have been typed and sent by my Leonard, I want to see them.

Pavel gives the communicator to me without hesitation and I really appreciate it.

_“Prep 2 ccs of cdrzne + 0.3 ccs m03noh Hypo. Gently!”_

That chemical formula – that barely makes any sense to me now – warms my heart.

 

*

 

“Leonard?”

“Sir?”

“Well, if you’re calling me Sir, that means you’re not paying attention to anything I say.”

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I’m not paying attention to anything you say” – I confirm, my eyes glued to the communicator on which I receive a generous feed of data indicating Spock’s condition. Chekov and I are texting back and forth. He informs me that Spock wants to read all my messages. I do not mind at all. At this point, although we are getting closer, he is too tired to communicate telepathically (and I’m really bad at it) and the _bond_ glitters on a rather low level. I am upset.

 

*

Jim gazes at me with worried eyes. Pavel is guarding me like a furious tiger and he does not let anyone touch me – he knows it would be unbearable for me. I am really grateful that he is here and I am quite exasperated at my own condition.

 

*

 

“Leonard.”

“What, now??” – I snapped – I am really exasperated.

“Put that down and raise shields!”

“Huh?”

But I drop the communicator on the floor and I raise the shields, gazing at the viewscreen and feeling my blood freeze as a Jem’Hadar ship is approaching. I fight back the nausea that overwhelms me at the sight of this familiar image.

 

*

 

Panic overwhelms me. A sudden burst of adrenaline makes me jump on my feet.

“Pavel, scan for the shuttle immediately!”

“Zey are too far, what iz happened?”

“They are in danger.”

 

*

I am looking at AnJoan Grey.

“We are not going to make it.”

“I am so sorry, Leonard.”

 

*

 

_Leonard!!_


	13. Leonard. Spock

I open my eyes and I find myself in AnJoan Grey’s arms. It’s cold. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and I whisper to his ear:

“What happened?”

“We are prisoners on the Jem’Hadar ship. I don’t know where they are taking us. You lost consciousness.”

“They did not separate us, why?”

“They seem to have only one holding cell.”

 “Do they know who I am?”

“Yes. They’ve been hunting you.”

“Let me guess: the Phage vaccine.”

“I am not sure.”

“Do they know who you are?”

“No.”

“Grey, listen. It’s me they want. I will negotiate your freedom.”

“We go together, or not at all, Leonard. Can you send a distress signal?”

“Huh??”

“Through the _bond_. A telepathic message.”

“I’ll try. I am not particularly good at this. Anything specific?”

“Our last known coordinates: 23.45.11.46.”

I closed my eyes and shifted my attention to the _bond_ , which was silent. Of course – I had been unconscious, and this must have rendered Spock inert as well. I left a telepathic beacon, hoping that somehow he would perceive it.

“We’re a bit on our own, Grey.”

 

*

 

I open my eyes. I am on the floor in Engineering. Pavel has injected epinephrine into my venous system. I am unable to speak yet. I take his hand and I place it on my face on the meld points. He knows what to do.

 

*

 

A Jem’Hadar soldier stands in front of our holding cell.

“You will be given data to analyze, Leonard McCoy.”

“How about food and water?”

“You have not earned the right to these items yet.”

“Listen – “

“Silence! A terrible disease is consuming the Dominion race. You are known for having created a cure for the Phage. You will create a cure for us as well.”

I prepare to say various smart things in response but AnJoan Grey holds me in his arms tighter.

“Don’t talk back to him, Leonard.”

“A wise piece of advice. Who are you?” – the Jem’Hadar asked Grey.

“I am his assistant.”

“Very well. Come here.”

Grey reluctantly got up and came to the Jem’Hadar, who released the force field for a second, sufficient to pass a padd with medical information.

“Give the doctor this padd and start analyzing the data. Elaborate a hypothesis and if it matches our scientists’, then you shall receive water.”

“If you have your own scientists, why do you need us for?” – Leonard said, carefully.

“For the moment, we are merely testing your intelligence.”

 

*

 

Chekov pulls me up, struggling as I am so heavy.

“Father.”

“Talk, Pavel.”

“Zey are in Dominion space.”

My heart simply sinks. The Dominion space is forbidden territory and at this moment I know that the Enterprise will not be able to assist.

“What can I do, Spock?” – Jim tells me, and he is helpless and heartbroken.

“Allow me to go.”

“Go. You are on leave as of this moment.”

“And so em I”, Pavel says. “I will not let him go alone.”

“Very well. As soon as we fix the core, we will follow and wait for you at the edge of Dominion space. I’ll go get you weapons and medical supplies.”

As soon as Jim left, I turned towards Pavel.

“Get me Nyota Uhura.”

 

*

“Well?”

“I really wish you stopped asking!”

“I am sorry, Leonard.”

The data does add up. The Dominion species suffers from a rare chromosomal mutation that causes their cells to degenerate. As soon as the process starts, it cannot be reversed. They want me to formulate a cure without a proper genetic study of the problem.

I gaze at the data on the padd for hours.

“AnJoan?”

“Yes, Leonard?”

“It cannot be reversed. But it **can** be cured.”

“That’s the most beautiful thing you ever told me.”

“Now, my dear assistant, I need you to negotiate water and food, because otherwise we’ll die.”

“I’ll get right on it, Doctor.”

Perhaps he wasn’t that evil after all, AnJoan Grey. I do not know what he tells to our guards, but soon we have water and supply rations.

 

*

 

“Spock.”

“Nyota. Are you aware of what is happening?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Leonard and his Majesty AnJoan Grey have been taken prisoners by the Dominion.”

Fury starts to build in her eyes – then horror, while realization dawns on her – then fear.

Nobody has ever escaped from Dominion hands.

“We are going after them, me and Pavel. Are you coming?”

“Yes. Yes.”

“Meet us at coordinates 23.45.11.46.”

“I will be there in one hour and a half, standard time.”

“We will wait for you.”

 

*

 

“I will give you one hint: we shall attempt the genetic reconstruction of the functional transcriptional regulatory cytoplasm pattern. Do you understand?”

“I do not understand”, the Jem’Hadar admitted. “I am not a scientist.”

“Transmit to your scientists, then. And allow me access to a laboratory.”

“We are on orbit around our home planet. We will land shortly. You will be taken to a laboratory.”

 

*

 

“Look…”

“Be silent, Leonard. Let me do the negotiating part.” – Grey said.

“Fine.”

I am tired and dirty and depressed and scared like never in my life and I know that no one can enter the forbidden Dominion space. I am cold.

When the guards leave, Grey wraps his arms around me to warm me up a little, and I cry, I just cry.


	14. Pavel Chekov. AnJoan Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I will walk over your cold corpses.”

Nyota had brought a class D war-bird. It was larger and had better offensive capabilities than our shuttle, so we moved everything aboard her ship. I had obtained my piloting brevet on a similar ship and I immediately took the helm.

They looked at each other for a few moments. Two former lovers, two former enemies, two desperate people, ready to do anything.

“Are they still alive?” – she wanted to know.

“Leonard is. And you know he would not let him die.”

“Let’s do it. I’ll sweep the area for communications and hints.”

“Cloak.” – the Commander ordered; I got the ship cloaked and we entered the forbidden territory, invisible and silent.

 

*

 

Leonard is not feeling well. He tried to eat but he just could not swallow food. I managed to pour a little water into his mouth. He lays motionless in my arms.

 

*

 

“Increase speed to maximum Warp.”

I comply without speaking. All the three of us are functioning as a single wrathful entity.

Love is an unstoppable force that can not only move mountains, but also planets out of their orbits.

“I brought a quantum torpedo”, Nyota says, and Commander Spock turns his head to look at her, his eyes widened in surprise. She had brought a weapon that **could** actually destroy an entire planet.

 

*

 

“Wake him up!”

I hold Leonard protectively at my chest.

“Allow him one more hour of rest. He needs to have a clear mind if you wish for this cure to be found. He is an exceptional doctor, have confidence.”

I talk in a calm, compliant tone; hostage negotiation was something I was good at – partly because of the unique subduing qualities of my voice.

“You are stalling!”

“Stalling for what? We are on your home planet, in forbidden space, who do you think will come save us?”

The Jem’Hadar soldier seemed to find my argument logical.

I modulate my voice to its most pleasant timbres:

“Besides, I am sure you have extraordinary planetary defenses.”

“Yes, we have a shield” – he says, his pupils dilated and he can’t focus on anything else but the sound of my deep voice.

“That is wonderful” – I say. And what are the coordinates of your shield projector?”

 

*

 

“One humanoid lifesign detected! In the close proximity of a non-Jem’Hadar. It must be them!”

“Leonard is barely conscious, Nyota.”

“But still alive. That’s all that matters.”

“Ze planet is shielded.”

If the planet was shielded, we could not beam someone up, we could not land and we could not do anything at all. We established a high orbit to avoid detection – and started to look for other solutions.

 

*

 

“Leonard, open your eyes.”

He swallows with difficulty.

I take his arm and I bite him with my sharp teeth – the sudden pain makes him regain consciousness and I put one hand over his mouth so that he does not scream.

“Not a single sound, yes?”

He nods.

“It is time for a new telepathic beacon. Transmit these coordinates: 542.511. 24.”

He closes his eyes and I feel him gathering all his inner strength.

 

*

 

Commander Spock tenses and his eyes brighten.

“Pavel, set course to 542.511.24.”

“I need help, perhaps you could take ze navigation Console, Commander?”

But when he stands up to come assist me, Nyota stops him.

“I have a piloting brevet. I’ll assist Pavel. Your place is in the Commanding chair.”

“Very well.”

 

*

 

“Move!”

I support Leonard with a tight grip on his arm as they are taking us to a Laboratory.

“Our scientists have confirmed your hypothesis, Leonard McCoy. You may proceed in creating a cure.”

“I _may_ procee-“

This proud man gets angry – and in trouble for that – way too often. I hold his arm tighter so that he shuts up. Thankfully, he does.

I take him to a chair and I start bringing him what he needs in order to work. We are being held at gunpoint and he is scared to death. I take a seat close to him.

“Leonard?”

“What.”

“No one is going to harm you. I promise you with my life.”

“Don’t make empty promises” – he says and he starts mixing various compounds.

“I do not. Your life is my only priority.”

“Why?”

“Because you deserve to live.”

“I am very afraid.”

“I know. Listen, Leonard, I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Your submission to Spock…”

“What about it?”

“On a scale from 1 to 100%, where would you situate it?”

“100%”

“I see.”

“Why?”

“Because I would like to borrow 1% of it in order to save your life.”

 

 

*

 

Commander Spock comes between our two consoles. I know what he is capable of.

“Can we do a vertical descent on a ninety degree angle?” – he asks.

Nyota and I exchange a single look.

“Yes” – we answer.

“How about a similar take-off?”

“Yes.”

“Good. There is a large structure at the coordinates I have sent to both your consoles. I have triangulated Leonard’s life sign inside. AnJoan Grey is likely to be with him or nearby. We will land on the structure, we will disable its defenses and we will beam our people aboard. I will now fire at the planetary shield transceiver and disable it. We have ten standard minutes before they can restore it.”

_Be ready._

_Master??_

 

*

 

 “AnJoan…”

“What is it?”

He stares at me, his eyes widened, his pupils fixed.

“They are coming.”

 

*

 

We have breached the planetary shield. We are descending vertically. They are firing at us. Commander Spock is firing back. His aim is steady, precise, merciless. There is nothing that can withstand Vulcan wrath.

 

*

 

Our guards rush to the door and assume defensive positions.

I grab Leonard and I push him in a corner, my arms around him, my body as a shield for his.

“You will be killed.” – he whispers and he tries to push me away.

“Silence, Leonard”, I tell him, modulating my voice accordingly, on a strict commanding tone; the time has come to take that 1% of his submission. I plan on returning it.

 

*

 

I manage to land on the building itself. Nyota can’t establish a lock for beam-up; they get out of the shuttle. Commander Spock has a 45K Disruptor and breaches through their defenses. Nyota covers him; they spread death and chaos all around.

“You must get inside ze structure and turn left – 43 meters.” – I transmit to her, as she has an earpiece.

“Acknowledged. Inside, Commander” – she says – and Spock blows the entrance up.

“Stand down, Vulcan!” – a Jem’Hadar commander yells – or I will shatter their brains off.

He walks down the corridor as if he did not hear.

“I said – stand down!”

“I will walk over your cold corpses” – he says, shooting at every Jem’Hadar he meets with merciless accuracy. One shot each. He is not even hurrying anymore; he is the doom of this place, and if necessary, of this race.

“I have a quantum torpedo aiming the core of your planet”, he says on a cold voice. “If you do not release my people at once, you will see no mercy.”

 

*

 

Someone approaches with a gun. He wants to take Leonard. Now it is the time for courage. I keep him behind me and I use my claws to cut the throat of our attacker.

A gun is pointed at me and darkness follows.

 

*

 

The bond lights up spectacularly.


	15. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Leonard, my T’hy’la, the love of my life...

I kill the soldier who fired at AnJoan Grey, then the two remaining guards.

I give the gun to Nyota:

“Fire at everything that moves.”

“Yes, Commander.”

I remove the corpses and the smashed furniture and I grab the arm of AnJoan Grey, lifting him up. Behind him – my Leonard, my T’hy’la, the love of my life.

Our eyes lock. He is – alive. He seems uninjured. He is in shock.

I can hear Nyota crying. She wants to rush to us.

“Do not drop that gun”, I order her. “Leonard, stand up.”

He is trembling.

“Stand – up, I said!”

He does not seem to understand me.

I wrap Grey’s arm around my neck to be able to carry him and I touch the psi points on Leonard’s face for a second. The abrupt meld zooms him back to reality, out of shock, he jumps to his feet.

“Master”, he says.

“You will walk. I cannot carry you both. Behind me – now.”

He obeys instantly.

We walk towards the exit and I feel as if I am returning from hell.

Whatever guards venture our way are shattered by Nyota.

As soon as we get outside of the building, Pavel beams us up.

“Lift-off! – I say, while deposing AnJoan Grey on the floor. Nyota wants to come and help:

“Assist Pavel, Lieutenant! That is your duty now.”

She complies. She is aware that our immediate departure is our main priority.

Leonard has also regained composure.

“Medical supplies” – he asks as he checks Grey’s vitals.

I bring him a bag with all the necessary items. He opens it and starts working with his usual efficiency.

“Endotracheal intubation” – he says.

I start giving him the tools in the right order. In a few seconds, air is being pumped into AnJoan Grey’s lungs and although he is still in danger, he at least has a chance to live.

My eyes meet Leonard’s.

The _bond_ is like a nova, everything inside me is simply burning.

“Help them” – he tells me. “I can manage. Get us to safety.”

I stand up and I return to the Commanding chair; we are being pursued by many Jem’Haddar ships; I connect my console to the tactical post and I start firing.

“Boost the antimatter compound” – I tell Pavel, who performs the necessary operations and we find ourselves at maximum Warp.

“3 minutes to Federation space”, Nyota announces me.

Her heart aches so badly that I can feel her pain from over here.

“Come on – go. I’ll take your station.” – I tell her.

She rushes to Leonard who is assisting Grey to breathe; she collapses on the floor near them, crying.

“Is he – “

“He has been hit by a disruptor blast. He IS NOT going to die.”

“Please Leonard – “ she says, she is almost incoherent.

“I **am not** going to let him die.”

I know that Leonard means it. Our _bond_ is now so bright that there is no need for a meld in order to touch his mind. I know everything that happened – and all the things AnJoan Grey did to save his life. He nearly died protecting my mate; I owe him a life debt. My Leonard is now alive because of what he did.

“Nyota, if you want to help me, contact Enterprise as soon as we are in range and patch me through to Sickbay so that I can provide immediate instructions.”

He is talking to her warmly and with compassion. She is in a deep state of shock.

She rushes to fulfill his request.

Pavel and I exchange a look to synchronize our navigating maneuvers and we rush towards the boundary of the forbidden territory at full speed.

As soon as we exit, Nyota has Sickbay on her communicator.

“McCoy here” – he says.

The sound of his voice fills every cell of by being – how could I live a single second without him?

“Have Operation Theater 3 ready, four units of DB5 Reman blood and all the instruments sterilized and ready to use – 21st Century included.“

“Who do you wish to assist you, Leonard?” – M’Benga asked.

“Commander Spock.”

A short silence.

“Bones, talk to me. Are you alright?”

“Yes, Jim.”

All the while, he continued resuscitation.

As soon as they arrived in Federation space, the Enterprise extended shields around them.

Pavel looked at me for a second:

“Go and prepare for surgery with ze Doktor, I will do ze rest.”

“Contact Reman station… and take care of Nyota too… And a report to the Captain…”

“Father” – Pavel told me. “I know what to do. Do not worry.”

The Enterprise beams us directly to Sickbay. At the sight of the familiar image of the place he loved the most in the entire Universe, I feel Leonard calm, his turmoil dissipating, his concentration at maximum. There would be a time for me to hold him in my arms – and to never, ever again let him go – but not now. Now we had to save AnJoan Grey’s life.

Leonard took off his blue science shirt and put on the sterile surgery clothes; I did the same. While scrubbing, he looked deeply, longingly into my eyes. I kept the emotions under a strict guard, but it was difficult even for me. Leonard and I have a lot to discuss when all this is over.

He shifts his gaze to my hands and I feel his kiss, as if he touched them with his lips and not with his eyes.

“Master.” – he says, and his tone is calm, normal, as if he spoke my name and not the word he could barely think about a while ago.

“Yes.”

But Leonard said nothing else after – and I knew he just felt the need to pronounce the word, to acknowledge my presence near him.

We went to the operating theater, he sent everyone else out and we started working without speaking. The sight was familiar; we were one being, one entity while working together; we had been there before.

Leonard started reconstructing AnJoan Grey’s left lung.

*

 

How many hours have passed? Even my internal chronometer could no longer tell. I have never seen such a careful work. Leonard had practically reconstructed every inch of tissue that had been affected.

“I need some water”, he told me.

I shifted my attention towards the bond with Pavel, whose presence I could sense nearby – probably in the observation room, with Nyota.

_Pavel, bring water and a straw._

_Yes, Father, immediately._

Pavel came in and gave me the bottle, carefully wrapped in a sterile cloth.

“Zey would like to know how iz going…”

“Everything is going fine. Tell Nyota to stop worrying.”

I removed Leonard’s mask from over his mouth and gave him the straw.

He lowered his eyelids in a silent _Thank you_ and drank from my hand. Every small gesture he was doing screamed that he belonged to me.

He continued to work silently for a while.

“I think he bit me at some point.” – he said.

“I am aware.”

“Please, do not…”

“I will not, Leonard. He has done unimaginable things to save your life.”

“This is true.”

“It is also true that the type of surgery you are currently performing has not been invented yet.”

“There was no other way. He must survive.”

 

*

 

“Closure,” Lenard said. He was saying only scarce words, every now and then.

I gave him the suture laser.

“No… I want to perform a classical suture. Prepare cyanoacrylate. Tell Pavel to get M’Benga and a full team ready to take him to ICU.”

I transmitted the necessary messages to Pavel and we went out of the operating theater, our work was done for the moment.

We threw the gloves and the clothes into the recycler. Leonard took both my hands and kissed them gently, aware that twenty eyes were gazing at us.

He did not seem to care – and neither did I. I took his hand and we went to the observation room.

Nyota rushed to us as soon as soon as we entered the room.

“How is he?”

She had been crying for hours.

“He is fine. You want to stay with him in ICU until he wakes up? It would be good for him to wake up and see you.”

“Yes, yes, I am going!”

She looks into my eyes for a second.

“Thank you – and forgive me…”

“We will talk about this together. Do not concern yourself.”

Jim does not want to add to the pressure, so he is the last one to come and talk to us.

His beautiful blue eyes are warm, full of unhidden pride towards what we have done.

“Get some rest, both of you”. – he said. “I will take care of the rest.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

All I want is to be alone with Leonard.

I take his arm and we enter our apartment.

“Computer, lock doors, medical override McCoy alpha two zero gamma.” – he says.

I take his hands and I drag him in the middle of the room.

“On your knees…” – I whisper.

He kneels in front of me, looking at me with serene eyes.


	16. Leonard. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you, Leonard. I love you…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be away from computer for two days. Not leaving anywhere, just lots of work. I will update on Sunday.  
> Thank you, please do not be upset, do not be angry, do not threaten to do various things to me, I have long claws.

I am on my knees and I am looking at him with serene eyes. Whatever he wishes to do to me, I am ready. I feel his fingers in my hair, holding my head still, his eyes burning.

“Leonard, I want you to listen very carefully to what I am about to say.”

“I am listening.”

“I will not allow you – ever again – to leave this ship without me. No matter what happens and not even if I have to resign from Starfleet.”

My eyes fill with tears. I am close to breakdown and he knows it, he feels it.

“I am very happy to hear this…”

“I love you, Leonard. I love you…”

He touches my face and enters my mind like a storm and everything in me screams I love you – I love you so much –

He pulls me on my feet and takes me to bed and for many hours all I feel is his beautiful hand on my face, his lips over mine, barely allowing me to breathe, his mind totally merged with mine. I am not sure where I end and where he begins and I don’t even want to know that. Ever.

 

*

 

I watch my hand over his. Such a delicate brown skin, long fingers, a perfect manicure, the beautiful Klessar bracelet – covering his big clawed hand – cold, humid skin, pale as if dug out of a tomb.

The being I am watching is probably the most horrible-looking in the known universe. I have thought this a thousand times. He admitted the fact himself two thousand times. And yet if pure beauty can rise in the oddest places and beings, I was looking at it. AnJoan Grey was ugly; and yet I have never seen anything more beautiful than him. Did I love him? That could not even begin to describe what I was feeling. I didn’t just love him. I adored him; he was my heart, the air I was breathing, he was everything. I lean my head against the side of the life-support console and I cry silently, realizing that I am living this for the first time in my life. This is what Spock and Leonard are also living; and I nearly took this away from them. Remorse and pain flow through me like an unleashed river.

His fingers move gently – it’s the first time in 36 standard hours. I jump to my feet and I nearly scream.

“AnJoan??! AnJoan, my love! Doctor!!!!”

Several doctors arrive, and I hear M’Benga calling McCoy.

“Doctor McCoy, please report to Sickbay immediately.”

Leonard arrives seconds later, followed by Spock – these two are inseparable – and he leans over AnJoan.

He takes his hand.

“It’s me, Leonard, your Majesty. I will remove the endotracheal tube now. It will be unpleasant but you will be able to talk and to breathe on your own. Squeeze my hand if you understand.”

AnJoan gently squeezes his and.

Leonard gets to work, his gestures are precise, professional, he knows what he is doing. I take a look at Spock who supervises the scene – his eyes are bright and content, he is proud of his Leonard.

AnJoan grasps for air with a horrible spasm as Leonard removes the tube and I hold his hand against my chest.

“There, there, we’re done. Let me see how your breathing goes.”

He takes several careful readings with the medical scanner and orders an assistant to prepare several hypos.

“Nyota” – he says in a tired voice.

“I am here, here,” she says, chocking with tears.

“What… happened…”

Spock comes closer, their eyes lock. Spock gently places his hand on the Reman’s face and I know he is sending him an abridged version of what has happened.

“You have come for me, Nyota, my love” – he tells me and the sound of his voice melts everything inside me.

“I… yes, I… we…”

“Nyota, you are not making any sense.”

She laughs and cries at the same time.

He turns his head to look at Leonard.

“Leonard.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Oh, please.”

He laughs.

“Do you still have that fancy ambassadorial apartment?”

Leonard and Spock exchange looks.

“We do, Your Majesty.” – Spock answers.

“Then take my Queen there and make sure she eats and sleeps. She looks exhausted and it seems like I have no authority over her from this bed.”

“You heard the Emperor, Nyota” – Spock says. “Let us leave Leonard take care of him.”

We left together.

It seemed like ages since we’ve walked the corridors of the Enterprise together. So much has happened; we had been lovers; then, without even realizing it, we have grown to be enemies; then allies in the strangest of battles; what were we now?

“Friends”, Spock said, as if he had just heard my entire flow of thoughts.

“I would love that. We have come a long way… and I want no more pain.”

“Me neither.”

He opens the door to the ambassadorial quarters and steps aside for me to enter.

“I hope the Queen finds these quarters satisfactory” – he says with a smirk.

“What is this “Queen” nonsense?”

“Well, if you marry AnJoan Grey – and I do believe he just proposed, you are going to be the Queen of the Reman race.”

“W-what?”

Darkness was definitely dissipating and for the first time in months I could see the sunrays.

“Spock?”

“Yes, Nyota?”

“This _bond_ thing… it exists only between Vulcans?”

“Leonard is not Vulcan.”

“But can it exist between two non-Vulcans?”

“Nyota, what are you saying?”

“Can you create a _bond_ between me and AnJoan Grey?”

For the first time in my life, I saw a speechless Vulcan.

“I… uh… this has never been done. Let me think.”

 

*

 

After 5 hyposprays his readings improved a lot.

“Your Majesty…”

“Leonard, if you keep calling me that, I will do very bad things to you, and Spock will find out about them.”

“Don’t make empty threats, AnJoan.” – I laughed.

“Now that’s better.”

“How are you feeling? What can I do to make you feel more comfortable?”

“You must reduce the temperature to 5 degrees Celsius so that I can regenerate.”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

“No.”

Leonard complied.

“Thank you for saving my life…”

“You are one stubborn man, Leonard McCoy.”

“I owe you a life debt, as your dear Romulans say.”

“I only want your friendship, Leonard. Perhaps now you will grant it to me?”

“You will have to ask it from Spock.”

“I will, if I know that you wish it too.”

“I would be honored to be your friend, AnJoan Grey.”

“I assure you – the honor is all mine, Leonard MCoy.”

 

*

 

I returned home after a few hours of Sickbay. AnJoan’s condition was now stable, and in the low temperature environment his healing progresses wonderfully.

Warm, strong Vulcan hands wrap around me as soon as I enter the room; his lips kiss me violently, passionately, as if war is coming and we are running out of time; our clothes land messily on the floor and we fall on the unmade bed. He is in the in the most possessive of moods but he no longer wishes to have complete control of me. He allows me to touch him, to love him, to bite him, to scratch him, to…

We make love for hours, and I give him everything that I am, everything that I have, everything – and it hurts.


	17. Spock. AnJoan Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Disorderly love is consuming. You must learn how to love me without allowing the feeling to be stronger than your ability to control. Especially since your feelings are highly reciprocated.”

“Pavel.”

“Yes, Father?”

“I wish to speak to you. Leonard, may we use your Sickbay office for half an hour?”

“Yes, Master. Access code is 411b.”

Leonard calls me _Master_ nearly all the time now, sometimes even when we are on duty, against my better judgment. People got used to this and the gossip seems to have stopped. Everybody treats Leonard with utmost respect. Leonard treats me like a king.

I take Pavel to Leonard’s office and we sit down on the couch.

“Pavel, tell me about the first time you initiated a meld. The Vulcan Science Academy wants me to document this. How did you do it?”

“Well, you sent me image of ze psi points and I put my fingers on Doktor McCoy’s face – you remember?”

“I remember. How did the psi points feel under your fingers?”

“Zey are like little burning points.”

“Burning points. This is interesting. And how do you manage to actually enter someone else’s mind? Because this has never been done by a non-Vulcan.”

“I imegin a corridor.”

“A-what?”

“A corridor coming from my mind to ze other person’s mind. And I walk on zat corridor until I reach ze other’s end. Zere is a door, I open it.  I simply… go forward from there.”

“How do you select information from another person’s mind?”

“Ooo, zat is difficult; I imagine lots of drawers like in a library. I open ze right drawer.”

“This is… highly original.”

“I know.”

“You are also very modest, dear Pavel,” – I said with the beginning of a smile – this young man was indeed very amusing.

“Father…”

“Yes, Pavel?”

“May I call you Father all the time?”

“No. Leonard gets me into all sorts of troubles already with him calling me _Master_ when we are on duty.”

“Zen may I also call you _Master_?”

“No!”

“Okey… so you do not want my submission as well.”

I narrowed my eyes. Was this young man playing with me?

I placed my hand on his face without much introduction and went violently through his thoughts. There was a chaos of strong emotions there, a mixture of love, adoration, worship, that he himself could barely make sense of.

“I already have your submission, Pavel. Now you must put some order in the rest.”

“How?”

“Disorderly love is consuming. You must learn how to love me without allowing the feeling to be stronger than your ability to control. Especially since your feelings are highly reciprocated.”

“Zey are?”

I smile and I allow him inside my mind – he deserves to see. I show him all my love, I wrap him in it.

He starts to cry.

He takes my hand and whilst seeing the permission in my eyes, he removes it from his face and kisses it.

I cannot help but smile. I have a bondmate; a son, a good friend back; new friends; life feels rich.

 

*

 

Leonard has discharged me and helped me dress. His care has been nothing but extraordinary.

“Leonard, I wish to speak to your Master before anything else. But you can assist.”

He smiles at me – and I feel I receive a precious gift – Spock arrives one minute later. Leonard has not used the communicator to transmit my request so I presume their telepathy is as strong as usual.

“Commander Spock, will you grant me ten minutes of your time?”

“It will be my honor, Your Majesty.”

“Can Leonard join us?”

“We do not have any secrets.”

“I can imagine that.”

Leonard takes us to his office and brings both of us drinks. He then looks at the Commander for the permission to sit down, which comes silently by a discrete bow of the Vulcan’s eyelids. Impeccable manners.

“Gentlemen, now that my health has been restored – and once again thank you, Leonard – I wish to accomplish one more goal… and to resolve whatever tensions are left between the three of us. I will start with the latter.”

They both listen to me and there is a spark of joy between us.

“Commander Spock, as you know, during our predicament with the Dominion, I had to take control of the situation and of your Leonard.”

“I am aware, and grateful.”

“Whatever I have taken from him, it belonged to you – and to you alone. If you wish to probe my mind in order to take back what I have borrowed, please do so.”

“There is no need. You may keep that 1% of Leonard’s submission. It may come in handy at times.”

“I know I should not be asking this, but do you agree, Leonard?”

“I agree with whatever my Master decides,” he says.

“I am curious as to why would you let me keep such a precious treasure”, I ask the Vulcan.

“Of all people in this Universe, Your Majesty… if I were to trust someone with my beloved Leonard’s life, that person would be you.”

I smile and I think back to the moment when I tortured and wanted to kill this proud human named Leonard McCoy.

“I want you both to forgive me for what I have done.”

“All is forgiven”, said Spock and he took Leonard’s hand. “You have a way of making up for the mistakes.”

Their love is so huge, that it is almost visible through the air between us. I start to wonder if it is the _bond_ that I am perceiving.

“And I would respectfully ask of you to allow Leonard to be my friend.”

They exchange a brief look, Spock seems pleased at my question. He is well aware that Leonard would not give anything to anyone without his permission.

“Granted”, he says – and for the first time in my life I see a Vulcan smiling – warmly – at me.

“The last thing I wish to talk to you about… is the fact that I want to ask Nyota to be my wife.”

Now both of them smile.

“And what seems to be the problem? Nyota adores you.”

“That’s the thing. I do not know how to do it.”

“Are you aware of the fact that she also wishes to _bond_ with you?”

I stare at Spock in astonishment.

“ _Bond_? With me?”

“She has asked me to initiate a _bond_ between you – which I am still not sure if it is possible, since none of you is Vulcan.”

“How – what will – “

For the first time in my life I am speechless.

“You would not like that?”

“YES! Yes, I would. Who could say no to a Vulcan _bond_?”

“I will have to meld with each of you separately, to investigate. You must understand that I WILL know everything about you.”

“The only thing I worry”, I said with a smile – would be my feelings for Leonard, which you would get to see.”

“I am already aware of them, Your Majesty.”

“You are?”

“Of course.”

“And you are not… upset?”

“No.”

“Vulcans are strange.”

“That, we are. However you should be more worried about the military information I will have access to.”

“Oh, please. I am planning to subdue Romulus. There. No more secrets.”

The Commander’s eyes widened in surprise:

“You ARE?” – it’s his turn to ask.

Life was a joy.

“Now, about the marriage… Jim is really good at officiating. And the Buddhist vows are quite extraordinary.”

“What are the <Buddhist vows>?”

“You’ll see.”

 

*

 

I take Leonard’s arm as we walk towards the mess hall for lunch. I hold him firmly, I want to feel every inch of his arm. Emotion flows through the _bond_ in big strong waves. His love for me is like a flood, it washes away everything else. I am _made_ out of his love.

We eat silently, while Jim, Scotty and Chekov are chatting near us. I am very comfortable with these people. I can hold Leonard’s hand while eating and I know I will not get any judgmental looks. I am doing exactly that.

“Do you still have the ritual book, Captain?” – I ask him.

“Sure, why?”

“Because you will officiate another wedding soon.”

“Really? Who’s getting married?”

“AnJoan Grey and Nyota.”

“It was about time!”

All the while, I caress Leonard’s fingers and wrist; I feel him abandoning to my touch. Too bad there are 8 more hours until I can take him home.

AnJoan Grey and Nyota join us later in Leonard’s office – which has become our headquarters. It is the moment to look inside their minds and see how and _if_ a _bond_ can be placed. Leonard is standing by with medical supplies, as I expect this to be painful.

I approach AnJoan Grey and I bow – which slightly upsets Leonard, I can feel it. But this is a moment to be official. I lift my hand, approaching it to his face.

“Your Majesty, may I?”

“Please, Commander.”

I go deep inside his mind, he grimaces. His thoughts are heavy, complicated, a web of military information, cravings and everything is powerful, **this being** is a predator. I make room for the _bond_ and I place its roots there, allowing it time to grow.

I step back from his mind, I am exhausted already. Entering an unstructured mind – other than Leonard’s – is draining me.

Leonard is scanning me and comes closer to me.

“Your _mn00h_ level is highly elevated.”

“I need your mind for a moment” – and I touch his face without any other introduction – his mind is my home and the only place in the universe where I feel at peace and complete. I only need a few moments, then I disengage the meld and Leonard kisses my hand. He always does this after a meld and I wonder if he knows that my soul just splits in half with emotion.

I turn towards Nyota who is trembling.

“Are you well, Nyota?”

“I am afraid, will it hurt?”

“It will.”

I cannot lie.

She takes a few deep breaths and tells me she is ready.

I am trying to be gentle when I enter her mind, but she is very strong, her mind has an immense power, as if made out of solid rock; she blocks my acces. I am surprised.

“You must let me in,” I whisper.

“I don’t know how.”

I remember Pavel’s description.

“Imagine a corridor between our minds.”

I feel her starting to relax.

I allow the image to settle.

“There is a door at your end. See it. Touch it with your palm. It is your door, you have the keys. Open the door slowly for me. Very good, slowly. Will you allow me in?”

“Come in”, she said mildly.

I am finally able to enter her mind and to place another incipient _bond_. I will need all my energy to unite these _bonds_ when the time comes.

I step out of her mind and I collapse in Leonard’s arms who takes me to the couch.

“Master?”

“Just tired, I will be fine. And I need a telepathic inhibitor. To be able to rest…”

Leonard had one ready and pressed it gently against his neck.

“Now you two, off to your fancy apartment, please! Spock needs to rest.”

“Leonard!” – I tried to intervene, after all he was speaking to an Emperor and his tone was rather disrespectful.

“Nothing. I want to hear nothing.”

Grey laughed and left with Nyota.

He cuddled on the couch, at my feet.

“You are far”, I complained.

“My place is here.”

“Computer, lock doors. Doctor McCoy, come closer.”

He smiled and lay near me. I rolled over him and I kissed him tenderly.

“Your place is also here.”


	18. Leonard. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was nothing I would not do for the love of AnJoan Grey…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delays these last few days. Just... lots of military operations going on now, on the Bridge.  
> Caution!!! Caution!!! Caution!!!  
> Two more chapters before the end.  
> I am not going to stop writing, so you may throw suggestions and cravings my way.  
> No one-shots. I need ample spaces to build.

We finally meet. It’s been so long, and so many things have happened.  It is our moment to sort out our pain and to let the wounds heal.

She is beautiful and happy; she has found her place in life, despite great misfortunes for which I am partially responsible. She has found her soulmate as I have found mine. We have come a long way, and we both have our scars – those that I can’t heal using medicine.

“Nyota…”

“Leonard.”

We sit down on the couch in her apartment. She has prepared my favorite coffee and does her best to be a perfect host. Spock and AnJoan Grey are on the Bridge with Jim. They decided it was  finally safe for the two of us to talk.

“I don’t know how to begin, Nyota.”

“Me neither!” – and she laughs. A speechless woman is rare.

“Too bad we can’t meld, that would save us a lot of effort. Listen, Nyota, let me say this. I am sorry. It was never my intention to steal Spock from you. I have loved him from the first time I saw him, but extraordinary circumstances have brought him and me together.”

“I know, Leonard. I… how should I say… I have been very jealous. In fact, I wanted to kill you.”

“I rather figured that out.”

“When I hit you with that tricorder… where there any serious consequences?”

“’Sides a broken mandible and inability to meld, which made Spock go mad for a week? Nothing much.”

“Melding is… important, yes?”

“The most important.”

“Even more than sex?”

“We’re not so much into sex. I mean, it’s nice, but it is nothing compared to melding.”

“You seem to have found the right one for you.”

“As have you.”

“And why do you call him _Master_? Sorry if it is too personal…”

“Yeah, I was expecting that… everybody wants to know. It’s nothing really spectacular. The Vulcan bonding implies a dominant partner, and Spock is particularly dominant. However I have willingly given him my life. As he treasures it like no one else ever did, I find it natural to call him that. It’s the same thing with people calling AnJoan _Your Majesty_ , or Jim – _Captain_ , or their wife – _Honey.”_

“So he does not do strange stuff to you, does he?”

I laugh, because that’s another question everybody asks.

“He does not.”

“Well, I could have never gotten along with a dominant partner. I don’t like being told to do stuff.”

“We all figured that out, Nyota. How did you manage to fall in love with AnJoan Grey?”

“Wow, we ARE asking each other all the idiot questions, are we not?”

We both burst out laughing.

“I guess.”

“I fell in love with him over time. He has shown me so much care and attention, he has given me so much love and so much hope, that the feeling grew on me… and before long, I found myself there was nothing I would not do for the love of AnJoan Grey…”

“Spock told me you brought a quantum torpedo when you guys came to save us.”

“Yeah… anyways, Leonard. Perhaps we could be friends.”

“I would like that”, and I give her my hand. She holds it for a few seconds with both her hands, while we gaze at each other.

Her eyes glow warmly and I know there is a new treasure in my life.

 

*

 

AnJoan comes in our apartment and I run to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kiss him and, as always, he is surprised that I actually want to do that.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He takes me in his arms and we sit on the couch.

“How did it go, with Leonard?” – he wants to know.

“We solved our problems.”

“I am happy and relieved to hear this.”

“AnJoan, you – uh – love him, yes?”

“Nyota, I love him deeply. I have never hidden this from you. Leonard McCoy is and forever will be my great weakness. But the love I have for you is in no way comparable.”

“You mean you love me more, right?” – I try my luck.

“Will you marry me?”

“What?” – I can’t believe my ears. Did he just –?

“Do you always answer a question with another question?”

“Yes.”

“This was the answer to – which question?”

“Yes, I will marry you.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

“What, now??”

“What’s wrong with now?”

He took my hand and we left the apartment; he took me to the Bridge of the Enterprise, where all my dear friends were present, all of them in dress uniform; Leonard had an ample amount of medical supplies ready and I was rather confused.

Jim came to greet us, his blue eyes were shining brightly and he had a book in his hand.

“There is no better place to get married than that place which you love the most. Leonard got married in Sickbay; I thought that the best place for an Emperor and his Bride would be the Bridge of a Starship. My friends, we have overcome great misfortunes. I am grateful that you are alive and healthy and you found that which is most important in life of all species – love. I would have never thought, when the Enterprise got stranded in the Gamma quadrant, that so many things would come our way; that friends will become enemies, enemies will become lovers and hostile races will become our friends. Let this be a lesson for all of us, that no harm is eternal and that even during the most difficult times – there is still hope.”

There was hardly anyone breathing.

“AnJoan Grey, Emperor of the Reman race, do you take Nyota Uhura to be your partner in life and in one true love, to trust her and respect her, to love her faithfully to good times or bad, regardless of the obstacles you may face together, now and forevermore?”

“I do.”

“Nyota Uhura, do you take AnJoan Grey to be your partner in life and in one true love, to trust him and respect him, to love him faithfully to good times or bad, regardless of the obstacles you may face together, now and forevermore?”

“I do”, I said, crying.

“Nyota Uhura and AnJoan Grey, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind, by the power granted to me as the Captain of this Starship, that I pronounce you married. You may kiss your Bride, Your Majesty…”

He takes my hands and kisses them, and bows his head to kiss my lips and never in my whole life have I been this happy.

Spock comes in front of us, he also wears the dress uniform.

“Do you still wish to _bond_ according to the Vulcan culture?”

“Yes”, I say, and AnJoan also acknowledges.

“Please, sit down. And do not worry if I am going to be unwell, Leonard will assist me.”

AnJoan looked around, unsure as to where to sit down, but Jim indicated the command chair.

“It is only appropriate for an Emperor. “

He sat down and I sat near him.

“Closer”, he ordered on a low tone, and I kind of started to understand why he would so easily obtain the submission of any being he wished.

I moved closer to AnJoan, our shoulders touching.

He placed his hand on my face firmly. He knew I had stronger barriers than other people and he needed to breach those first.

“I am walking on the long corridor that unites my mind with yours. See me. I am your friend.”

“Welcome, friend” – I whisper.

“I am at the door. Please, let me in, Nyota, open the door to your thoughts for me.”

“Come in…”

“My mind to your mind… my thoughts to your thoughts.”

I can feel him inside my mind, strong, ever-present. I know now, beyond any doubt, that I could not have resisted a lifetime near a being so powerful. He and me – were not meant to be. We had never been.

I see him placing his left hand on AnJoan’s face. It goes much quicker; AnJoan and himself share a common ancestry and the thought almost scares me.

Nothing happens for a while. I am waiting, and I am afraid. I know it will be, by far, the most painful experience of my life.

Rays of light start insinuating into my mind, filling each neuronal structure, each dendrite, each axon; my thoughts are shattered and I feel – I feel!! – AnJoan’s presence in me, everywhere, calling on to me, embracing me from within, our minds merging, forever united.

I feel Spock’s hand trembling slightly from the effort. The bonding that takes place has never been attempted; it requires all his force not to bind the two of us to him, which would mean not only a disaster of unknown magnitude, but also the death of him, of Leonard, and also, perhaps, of me and AnJoan. He fights to merely allow the _bond_ pass through him, he is a bridge, a passage, a safe-way for me and AnJoan.

Of all the bridges I’ve walked on, of all the bridges I myself have built in this lifetime, Spock is the most stable; he is made of pure granite; I walk on this bridge, with gratitude, with reverence – which I hope he can perceive – I walk towards the love of my life, towards AnJoan Grey.

We meet half way. I am not sure where we are. Perhaps in my mind, perhaps in his, or perhaps in Spock’s own mind.

“Parted from me and never parted…” – I hear Spock’s warm voice. “Repeat, both.”

We repeat, and with each word that is spoken, I feel AnJoan closer. Nothing can describe the feeling of completeness that I live. My heart is burning; my body is burning; the essence of my life is on fire.

Spock continues in Reman:

“Ar leith ó dom agus riamh óna chéile”

I can’t repeat, but I hear AnJoan responding:

“Go deo agus i gcónaí”

 _Parted from me and never parted, forever and always_.

I swear that I have never heard a truth more profound, more beautiful, more life-defining.

 _Nyota? –_ I hear in my mind.

_AnJoan!!_

“It is done, take your bondmate home.” Spock says, and he gently disengages the meld, nearly falling down from exhaustion, to be caught by the loving arms of his Leonard.

 

*

 

I am waiting for Spock to wake up. I took him to our quarters instead of Sickbay since all he is suffering from is pure exhaustion. He has been sleeping motionless in my arms for five hours. I feel his awareness growing through the _bond_ and I smile. His long fingers caress my arm, as if he wanted to be sure I was there.

“Leonard, my love.”

I hold him closer, so much happiness makes me dizzy.

“The Emperor and Nyota?” – he wanted to know.

“They’re fine”, I whisper with my lips close to that pointy ear. “They’re in their quarters.”

“I need to have a talk with that man.”

“With Grey? Why?”

“Well, he is planning to – “

“– attack Romulus.”

“Exactly. I need to know what strategy he wishes to deploy, because if he requires assistance, we must be prepared.”

“He is planning to take the Praetor of Romulus captive first, then occupy the Senate, then explain he wishes to have peace in the quadrant and it is time Romulans stopped thinking of themselves as a race bred for war, that the time for war is over and they should focus on scientific exploration. Then, if all goes well, he should be elected Praetor…”

He watches me in total surprise and I congratulate myself for having managed to stir the human feeling of astonishment in a Vulcan.

“How… do you know all this??”

“Well…”

Spock’s hand reaches out towards my face, but I catch it midway and I cover it with kisses.

“Le-o-nard…”

“He told me, Spock, while in shuttle, before we got intercepted by the Jem’Hadar.”

“I see. He is very chatty about his military operations.”

“I am very charming.”

I kiss each of his fingers, in extreme slow motion. I feel him relaxing in my arms, pleasure and desire starting to build.

“I must – agree – “ – he whispers, and I know he can’t resist when my teeth gently bite his fingertips.

My hand slides under his black shirt, caressing his back, his shoulders, his neck.

“You… are taking advantage of me because I am tired”, he says, his breath slightly accelerating.

“Yes, that’s the strategy I am planning to deploy.”

“Continue”, he says with a smug little smile, and I am doing just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awesome Leonard picture is from here:  
> http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/14300000/Leonard-McCoy-karl-urban-as-leonard-mccoy-14300710-1088-1450.jpg  
> Awesome Nyota picture from here:  
> http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/10/101742/2137134-u5.jpg


	19. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you want, Master?” – he asks me in a low voice.  
> “Submission…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Spock and Leonard are playing together:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWmM3GOhrBM&feature=youtu.be  
> Give it a listen, they are playing it wonderfully :P
> 
> One more chapter and we are done here. Stay tuned!

We are on route to Remus, to drop off the Emperor and Nyota. We pass by Iconia and Jim orders shore leave and a campfire. I have fond memories of this place and I am planning to spend wonderful moments by the fire with Leonard in my arms. Jim and Pavel have already beamed down to prepare our little party. I have placed the ship on a high orbit and I perform a last sensor sweep to make sure there is no danger.

Leonard is rather busy too before our “night out.”

I enjoy watching him work. He has gained a new confidence, a particular inner strength. I can see it in the way he talks, in the way he walks on the long corridors of the Enterprise, in the way his eyes shine. At times, he asks me to join him in the Operating Room; some other times, I require his assistance in Engineering. He has grown as a human being; I have grown as well. We are one.

He is currently cleaning a superficial wound of AnJoan Grey – the Emperor has tested the limits of hand-to-hand combat against our pilot, Mr. Sulu, not following all our generous pieces of advice against that particular activity.

Once again, AnJoan is in Leonard’s Sickbay, and complaining about everything.

“…and why the hell did you use _knives_?? I mean, really, Sulu, _knives?_ ”

“What’s wrong with knives, Doctor?”

“You could’ve killed him!”

“He asked for it.”

“I did, Leonard,” the Emperor admits. “Do not be too hard on him.”

Leonard looks at me for a second. We do not even need to communicate telepathically. One look is enough to transmit what is necessary.

 I put on gloves and I give him a disinfecting agent, which he carefully spreads over the Reman’s wound.

“You people no longer use words?” – Grey wants to know.

“No.” – Leonard answers.

“Oh. I need to learn that.”

I continue giving Leonard the tools he needs.

AnJoan looks at us with admiration.

“Sure you don’t want to come with me to Remus? I’d allow you to do experiments on Romulans.”

He disinfects his wound for the last time using plain medicinal alcohol and it stings, he grimaces.

“Gah! What was that for?”

“For previous indecent proposal.”

The Emperor turns his head towards me:

“What, no deadly glare from you?”

“Not at this time, no.”

“How so?”

“Oh, you are only trying to get a reaction out of me. You are not serious. Should you become, though, you know what I am capable of.”

“That, I am.”

I give Leonard the dermal regenerator. He goes thoroughly through the final procedure and bandages the wound.

“No more hand-to-hand combat!” – he orders.

“For how long?”

“For how long do you think, Grey??”

I doubt it is appropriate to call the Emperor – _Grey._

“One day?” – the Emperor tries his luck – and hadn’t I been a Vulcan, I would have laughed with tears.

Leonard rolls his eyes in exasperation and turns towards me.

He carefully removes my gloves and throws them away. He kisses both my hands with respect and veneration; he does not really care there are other people in the room.

“Dammit”, AnJoan Grey says.

“What now? – Leonard asks, still holding both my hands.

“Nothing. It’s just – so much love makes me nauseous.”

“I’m positive I have a hypo for that,” – he threatens him, so the Emperor takes Sulu’s arm and they leave.

I wrap my arms around his neck, playing with his hair. He smiles at me warmly and my heart is just – melting.

“What do you want, Master?” – he asks me in a low voice.

“Submission…” – I tell him on an equally low voice.

His eyes widen and he is simply adorable.

“Do you – did I – I mean… what have I…”

“I was only joking, Leonard. In fact, I want a cup of coffee.”

“Lord help me and protect me against Vulcans with the sense of humor”, he says and he unwraps my arms from around his neck. “Where did you learn that?” – he wants to know as he makes his way towards the replicator.

“From your mind, actually. It was right between _homeopathy and hydroxylase_.”

He bites his lips in order not to burst out laughing; he gives me my coffee and begins putting away all the various supplies he had used on the Emperor.

He is so happy – and so beautiful – that I nearly want to give up the shore leave and stay with him here, locked in our quarters. But now, we cannot do this – Jim said he had a surprise for us – and I am curious – to say the least.

 

* 

 

We beam down with AnJoan and Nyota, we are the last ones to arrive. The fire is already burning, Jim is cuddled with Carol, Pavel is chatting with Hikaru Sulu (I must investigate this!), the Sickbay crew is baking potatoes and roast corn. We are being greeted cheerfully.

“A fire!” – says AnJoan Grey, in surprise.

“Yeah”, Leonard answers. “Nice, isn’t it?”

“I, well… It’s hot.”

“Well, you can cuddle with your wife farther from it, under that tree, Pavel will bring you a blanket and you can still see and hear everything.”

Jim shows me a guitar – and I still did not bring any scores. Jim has also brought a flute, which is rather peculiar, because I cannot play any wind instrument.

“What are these objects?” – AnJoan Grey wants to know.

“They are musical instruments.” – Nyota answers.

“Musical?”

“Do you not know what music is?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I promise you it is the best thing in the world. It is the most outstanding creation of mankind.”

“I thought that the Federation was the most outstanding creation of mankind.”

“You will see that the Federation is nothing when compared to music.”

Jim comes to us:

“Bones?”

Leonard turns towards him, and Jim gives him the flute.

Leonard’s eyes fill with tears.

“Jim… where did you get this from??”

“I thought you might like it…”

“My flute!”

The emotions he lives are so powerful that I actually start to worry: pain, nostalgia, a huge wave of memories of past times, happiness, all flow through like a tidal wave.

He takes the musical instrument in his hands and kisses it with tenderness.

I am unsure what is happening.

“Now, Mr. Spock, the score you want to look for in that pretty head of his, is called _Milarepa_.”

“Captain, what is going on?”

Jim smiles mysteriously and points to Leonard’s head.

My fingers are already on his cheek.

He wants to say something, but I put one finger on his lips.

“Shhh. Silence.”

He abandons to me completely.

I look through his memories and, to my immense surprise, I discover a solid musical background rooted in his adolescence; he can play several wind instruments and he is particularly fond of a flute, which has long been lost.

I arrive to the logical conclusion that Jim has tracked that instrument down, as a surprise for Leonard.

His tears fall on my fingers. I fail at controlling my own emotions.

He brings forward the score of a musical work entitled _Milarepa._ It is scored for flute and harp, but I can easily play the harp part on the guitar.

“Together… can we play this together?”

He nods.

I gently disengage the meld and he kisses my hand, while wiping his tears away.

“You are in pain.” – I tell him.

“No… no. Nostalgia is not pain. I mean… it is pain, but a good pain. It gives the human soul a certain… transparence.”

I need a lifetime to learn all of Leonard McCoy.

“Let’s tune up”, he says, and he touches the flute with his lips. A wonderful, clean “ **A”** , on the frequency of 440 Hz, – fills the air and I am tuning the guitar accordingly.

He bows towards me, with the flute close to his chest. If anyone present had any doubts that Leonard was completely mine, they would be shattered by all those gestures of reverence.

I start playing, the melody is warm, calm and beautiful, and when Leonard joins me, his eyes locked with mine, I am overwhelmed by such a huge feeling of happiness and intimacy, that my heart hurts and my fingers almost stumble on the guitar. Playing music with him is better than a meld: if the essence of life is something else, something more than the sum of the biological and chemical processes of our bodies, if there is, as humans say, an immortal soul, then my soul and Leonard’s are touching now.

There is pain in this music, coming to me through the ages, from long ago, there is a deep longing, there is something eternal – like the love between me and Leonard McCoy.

When we finally end the piece, Leonard bows again towards me, in a silent _thank you._

“My eyes hurt”, AnJoan Grey says.

“You are crying, my love”, Nyota tells him, kissing his tears away.

“Why am I crying?”

“Because music stirs the best and more profound emotions of any being’s heart.”

I take Leonard’s arm and I pull him against me, one arm around his waist. He is silent, compliant in my hands – and I have never, ever been so in love.

“It is time!!!” Pavel said cheerfully.

“Time for what?” – Jim wanted to know.

“It is time to hear the latest ghost story from Russia!”

“True story, right?” – I asked.

“Of course, Father – all Russian stories are true, plus this one I have wit – with – whhhith – “

“I am sorry?”

“WITNESSED myself! English is so difficult.”

I must agree. I hold Leonard closer, both my arms tightly around him.

“Everything alright, Master?” – he whispers to me.

“Oh, I am just afraid of ghost stories.”

He laughs.

“What is _ghost_?” – AnJoan wants to know.

“A ghost is a spirit who is very upset and does not want to step into the light.” – Pavel explains scientifically.

AnJoan seems extremely confused.

“Spirit?”

“Humans believe that in each body there is an essence, an invisible force that survives the biological dissolution and exists in another dimension”, I explain. “Therefore, a ghost is a confused spirit, who wants to revenge, or has lost the path to that _other_ dimension, or simply lingers around what he loved during the biological life.”

“Is this true?” – the Emperor wants to know.

“Of course!” – Pavel quickly adds. It’s the Russians that discovered this.”

“Why am I not surprised… Okay! It is all clear now! Let us hear the ghost story!”

“Iz a very short story! I was fourteen years old when zis happened. I was walking home from University one evening…”

“Wait, what? You were at the university at 14 years old?”- Grey asked in disbelief.

“At twelve. At sixteen I was already at Starfleet Academy.”

The Emperor looks at Jim, who nods.

“Yep! That would be our Pavel.”

“Wait a minute, kid, how old are you now?”

“Sewenteen!” – he says proudly.

“Oh. Oh, good. He’s seventeen.”

We all laugh. Our young Pavel will never cease to astonish people.

“Anyway! You said you were fourteen.”

“One evening, I was walking towards home from University, and all of a sudden, rrright near me on the street, big accident! An air-taxi hits a woman, then bang! Spins through air, the woman – splash! On the sidewalk, poor woman! Blood everywhere! It was red and flowing like a river from her head!”

Several eyes turn towards my Leonard.

“What?” – he asks.

“Medical opinion, Bones?”

“Head trauma, what else. Broken skull, most likely.”

Leonard’s medical expertise in ghost stories seems to be unanimously appreciated because we are being given generous quantities of potatoes and roast corn.

Leonard chuckles and leans closer to my ear.

“Mmm?” – I purr interrogatively.

“I – love – you…”

“I will require proof of that, later.”

“Mmm…” – it is his turn to purr.

“Ze poor woman – dead in a second! Air taxi driver comes to her, desperate, but nothing he could do. I was about 10 feet away and I was very scared and very sorry for ze woman. When I look near me, all of a sudden…”

“… a ghost appeared!” – AnJoan Grey exclaimed.

“Nooo, not a ghost! It was a red shoe.”

“A-what?”

“Ze woman had red shoes. Because of ze impact, her shoes went off her feet and one of them landed near me.”

The image exposed by Pavel is very powerful. He is a talented storyteller. A red shoe on the sidewalk. I scan the mental surroundings of our camp with a gentle telepathic probe – everyone is imagining the same things, except Leonard, who does not pay attention to the story at all. I wonder what he could possibly be thinking about. In fact, I am curious.

“Leonard?”

“Yes, Master?” – he whispers.

“Do you know the end of this story?”

“No, this is new.”

“Good.”

I place my fingers on his face casually, discreetly, as if I was caressing his cheek  – nobody is paying any attention at us anyways. The meld is light, superficial.

“Is there something in particular that you wish to see?” – he asks.

“Just observing.”

He smiles.

I look back through his thoughts a bit. He is not paying attention to the story because he is thinking about various techniques to address head trauma during accidents. Fascinating what a ghost story can do to my Leonard.

“Without thinking too well, I took ze red shoe and I put it in my bag! And I ran home!”

“And then??” – everyone wanted to know.

Even myself!

What was Leonard thinking?

 _If intracranial pressure_ _rises above 20-25 mm Hg, intravenous mannitol, CSF drainage, and hyperventilation can be used. Hypertonic saline can also be used instead of mannitol to lower intracranial pressure. If the intracranial pressure does not respond to these conventional treatments, high-dose barbiturate therapy is permissible. And I want to kiss Spock’s fingers._

“That is a particularly interesting thought, Leonard.”

I lean my head and I kiss his lips and he is melting in my arms.

“Then, I put ze shoe in my dressing room and I went to bed, I was shocked. But next morning when I looked…”

“It was gone, right???”

“Nooo, not gone! It was there, but right next to him there was the other shoe as well.”

I love the uneasy silence at the end of a ghost story. Even AnJoan Grey is speechless – which is rare.

“My cousin Karina Andreevna found ze shoes later and she took them because, after all what would I have done with them?”

“And???”

“And she died zat day… she was hit by an air taxi.”

“Kid, you are absolutely creepy, for the love of Reman gods.”

“Thank you! Iz a wonderful compliment, your Majesty.”

Everybody discusses the story and asks Pavel for details. Leonard covers my legs with a warm blanket and takes my hand that was still lingering on his face, kissing all my fingers.

I feel him in a vulnerable mood.

“What is it, Leonard? What do you want?”

“I don’t know, Master…”

But I know what he needs. He has given me so much, that he simply has nothing left for himself. What Leonard wants, what he needs – is to know that I am taking care of what he has given me. He knows I can be rather violent and rough; tonight, when we return to our room, I am showing him just how much care and tenderness I am capable of. He falls asleep with his head on my shoulder and I am playing with a lock of his hair. Until morning. I love Leonard so much, that I cannot sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Creepy ghost story? :))


	20. Leonard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will love you not until forever, but to the last syllable of recorded time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For symmetry, and in order to understand the form of this work, you should now re-read the first Chapter of "Bridges We Build"  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/3918487/chapters/8772766

At times, I feel like complaining that life is difficult.

But not today.

Today, I am in the mess hall, drinking a cup of black coffee and watching Spock going through military calculations with His Majesty AnJoan Grey and with my Best Friend, that nosey kid named Jim Kirk. Uhura has a clipboard with real sheets of paper and a real HB pencil and she is drawing – I never knew she had this hidden talent. I do not have any hidden talents.

_Are you quite sure about that, Leonard?_

The sudden tease that came through the _bond_ , along with a wave of humor, made me choke with my coffee.

“Damn thing! Forgot to put sugar.”

“Will you stop it already”, AnJoan cautions Spock. “I can hear you talking to him from over here.”

“I am quite positive I did not say a word.”

“Right, right.”

Jim gazes at all of us with loving eyes.

“I wish you could stay here with us, you two”, he tells AnJoan and Nyota.

“Are you offering me the command of your ship?” – the Reman wanted to know. “Because, in that case – “

“No.”

“What a pity. You would have made a charming First Officer” – he teases Jim.

“This ship already has a charming First Officer.” – I feel compelled to point out.

“Shut up, Bones.”

“You are very charming too, Jim”, I try to calm down that envious guy.

“Shut up, Leonard,” Spock added.

“I can still murder these two, Leonard,” AnJoan suggested.

“Now”, Jim continued, excitement written all over him face, and he leaned closer to Spock, talking in a low voice.

I was not in the mood for their childish military discussions anyways. They were pretending to draw a defense plan against a possible, or rather virtual counteroffensive of the Romulans when AnJoan would make his move; but I knew better, the Romulans will not counterattack; no one would dare to taunt AnJoan Grey; even if they hate him at the beginning, soon they will adore him, because I have never seen such a talent in anyone, that of transforming pure hate into –

“…but what do we do about Bones?”

“Hey, what?” – I zoomed back into reality.

“Nothing, nothing”, Jim promised.

“Master?” – I asked menacingly and without any reverence at all.

“See what you have done?” – Spock told Jim.

“You have no authority over him.” – Jim decided.

“We are on duty, of course I have no authority. You, however, Captain…”

I turn towards AnJoan Grey:

“What are these two talking about?”

“They are planning to beam down on a planet named Dakala.”

Not this again.

“Carnivorous animals. Non-photosynthetic plants. Nobody beams down. Especially you two.” – I said on a resolute tone, while glaring at the conspirative group Spock-Jim.

“Wow”, AnJoan exclaimed. “I am impressed. Does he actually know all the characteristics of all the planets in the system?”

“In the quadrant”, Spock added.

 I took my padd and added a script into the main transporter computer, that no one aboard the Enterprise is to beam down on Dakala without the specific authorization of the Chief Medical Officer.

“Hey you can’t – Bones – Bones? Dammit. Since when can you reprogram the transporter terminal? That requires advanced computer science knowledge. What happened to _I’m a doctor, not a computer geek?_ ”

“I think he borrows what he needs from my mind, Captain”, Spock confessed.

“Does he now?? And I suppose you borrow, what, coronary bypass surgery techniques?”

“If necessary”, Spock says with a mild smile, giving AnJoan a warm look and remembering the day he had borrowed from my mind exactly that.

“Can I borrow chess techniques from your mind, Spock? Please? I really wish I could defeat you at least once.”

“You cannot.”

“I cannot borrow? Or I cannot defeat you?”

“Both.”

“Why not? It would be cool to borrow things, you know, like from a library.”

“While I do not doubt it would be _cool_ , you cannot do that without sharing a bond with me.”

“So??”

“I will not create a bond with you. You are already too noisy.”

“Thanks??”

Spock captures a blushing Pavel Chekov passing by our table and has him sit down near him on a chair.

“You were supposed to be sleeping, young man. You have worked three full shifts. What are you doing here, if I may know?”

“I can’t sleep, Father.”

“And why is that?”

“My quarters are haunted…”

We all laugh, Jim eagerly asks for details and Nyota wants to know if the floor is _creaking_.

“It does”, Pavel says and he looks extremely worried. “I believe exorcizzzm may be needed.”

“Do that”, Jim says, “and you will spend one week in the brig!”

I am the Chief Medical Officer of the Federation Flagship. Those around me are my beloved friends. They joke and they make plans, they gesticulate, they complain, they maneuver tools, they lift glasses; everything unfurls in slow motion in front of my very eyes. Life is here, now, measured not by the various clocks on the endless worlds we met so far, but by the emotion that fills the essence of my being. Two and a half feet away from me, Spock, son of Sarek, my master and the love of my life, puts a mug of tea down the table and looks into my eyes.

I met you against all odds, and I chose you – of all people.

With each breath that I take, I swear to you again and again that I will love you not until forever, but _to the last syllable of recorded time._

 

*

 

_My dear friends, I wish to thank you all once again for reading these two stories. I am so happy that I wrote them and they have brought me endless hours of joy and good friends that I hope I will keep for a lifetime._

_While some of you may not have been in agreement with certain aspects of the story, please rest assured that it has been written with honesty and with much gratitude for all the wonderful feedback you have provided._

_There will be a new story soon, Spock / Leonard, so stay tuned. Also, there is a surprise being prepared for those who find the topic of non-sexual submission fascinating._

_I will be on Remus, conducting a military campaign against the Romulans, until June 20. After that date, new stories will be posted. Meanwhile, in terms of bibliography and references, read **Macbeth**. That Shakespeare person surely knew what he was doing, and he is the only person in the known Universe who makes me fall completely apart. _

_Yours truly,_

**_AnJoan Grey_ **

_PS: Kudos to all of you who can identify **Macbeth** references in my stories. _

**Author's Note:**

> Characters and pictures belong to Paramount.  
> Story by AnJoan Grey


End file.
